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January 10th, 2005
A lot's happened since October. Like the fact that I'd stopped going to school.
I tried keeping my head high. I really did. I told myself every day that I could handle it, that none of them were worth a second thought. But my tipping point, the breaking moment, came when Connor decided to humiliate me in the worst way possible. He got his new girlfriend to steal my clothes during PE and hide them, leaving me stranded in a pair of boxer shorts and a bra.
Wanker.
Not exactly ideal. And not just because it was the middle of November—chilly enough to have my skin pricking with goosebumps as I bolted out of the changing rooms. I remember that feeling, that cocktail of anger and shame twisting in my gut as I chased several girls around the school, laughter echoing in my ears from every corner. People were pointing, whispering, snickering as if I were some spectacle put there for their entertainment. I could feel every set of eyes on me, and each one seemed like it was stripping away whatever armor I had left.
But when I finally managed to catch the girl responsible and gave her a piece of my mind—not to mention a shove that sent her straight to the ground—I was the one who got punished. Kicked out, sent home, slapped with a suspension that might as well have been a one-way ticket out of that place.
I wanted to scream the truth at them. Show them the evidence, point fingers, anything to make them see how wrong they were. But I knew it wouldn't change a thing. They'd already decided who the troublemaker was, and it wasn't going to be Connor or his new Barbie-doll girlfriend.
So here I was now, at 7:30 in the morning, trying to keep my hands from shaking as I got ready to start at Tommen College. Joey always called it the "rich rugby prick school," and he wasn't far off. Just the idea of walking in there, a place so different from what I was used to, had my stomach doing flips. I told myself over and over to keep my chin up, that none of this would get to me, that it was just a fresh start. A new school, a new set of faces.
At least Eloise was coming too. She'd practically begged her parents to let her transfer with me, saying we'd never been apart in school and that she couldn't just abandon me now. After weeks of pleading, they finally agreed. So here we were, the two of us, on the brink of walking into this shiny new world together. I was grateful, even if I didn't say it. I'd never admit to her how nervous I was—nervous enough that I had to keep taking deep breaths just to stop myself from breaking out into a sweat.
I sat on my bed, Aoife behind me, putting the finishing touches on my hair. I'd even added a white bow today. I hadn't worn one since Connor told me it made me look "stupid" and "childish." His words had stuck with me for so long, making me feel silly for wanting to wear it. But today, with everything changing, I wanted a reminder that I could be exactly who I wanted, without anyone's opinion holding me back.
Aoife seemed to sense the shift in my mood as she finished, gently brushing through my hair. The small, steady motion was calming, even if I wouldn't admit it.
"I need a word with you quick," I said, breaking the silence, needing a distraction from the jittery feeling crawling up my spine.
She looked up, smiling in that knowing way. "What's up now, Blue?"
"I'm not one to assume..." I hesitated, feeling the nerves prickling again. But I steeled myself. "I mean, I am, but—"
"Get to the point," she chuckled, shaking her head.
"You're pregnant," I blurted out, watching her face for any sign that I might be wrong.
Aoife just stared at me, her mouth twitching before she broke into laughter. "Oh, shut up. You're full of it."
"I'm serious," I said, crossing my arms. "Look, me, you, Eloise, and Casey—we've all been synced up for years. Yet I haven't seen you ask me for tampons in what, two months? You always forget to buy your own, and I know you don't carry them around."
She stopped laughing, her expression shifting for just a moment. Then she shook her head, waving me off. "You're mad. Absolutely mad."
"I'm telling you," I said as I slung my bag over my shoulder, adjusting my bow one last time, "and it's a boy, too."
"Piss off," she laughed, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "I'll see you at work later, psychic girl."
Work. Another thing to keep me busy, keep my thoughts off everything else. I'd picked up shifts at Dinniman's with Aoife and Eloise, partly for the money and partly to avoid being at home. Dad had moved into his new place yesterday, so after school, I planned to go over there to help him unpack before my shift started.
Downstairs, Eloise was waiting for me in the kitchen, dressed in the same uniform but looking polished, as usual. Her hair was pulled back in neat curls, the picture of calm confidence, even if I knew she was a bit nervous too. But she'd never show it, and neither would I. At least, that's what I told myself.
"You ready?" she asked, giving me a smile that was both reassuring and a little hesitant.
I nodded, forcing myself to smile back, fingers brushing the bow in my hair for reassurance. "Ready as I'll ever be."
—————————————————— A/N Let's ignore how this fics gonna be long as now HAHAHA ALSOOO HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT BE SAFE BAESSS - Lia 💋
