In Between Us

Untitled Part 29

Last Worked: 20/09/2024

Zhan barely held onto his restraint as he stormed out, leaving Yibo behind with a cold silence that filled the room like a thick fog. His heart hammered against his ribs, his vision blurred as though his anger had taken on a life of its own, warping everything he saw. He couldn't stay put a moment longer; he could feel a simmering darkness rise within him, one he feared might consume them both if he stayed any longer.

Each step felt like it could set the ground aflame, he hadn't even realized how hard he was gripping his fists until he reached to twist his apartment door, his fingers aching from the pressure, he paused only to kick the door shut behind him, barely registering the loud bang it made as it closed. A heavy silence settled, wrapping him in a suffocating stillness, and he felt trapped in his own rage. Slamming the door behind him, he stalked to the center of the room, a tension simmering in his chest, a need to destroy something—anything.

Zhan paced the room like a caged animal, his usual controlled self completely lost in this raw. Every breath felt like a spark thrown onto dry kindling. He glanced around his apartment, feeling an urge to break something, to let loose the pent-up rage boiling under his skin. Every object in the room seemed a target for his frustration, yet it was Yibo's face that hovered most vividly in his mind—the look of innocence on his face.

Every image of Yibo and Kuan together surged through his mind, one after another, a relentless taunt. That easy, familiar laugh Yibo had shared. The casual way Kuan's hand had brushed through Yibo's hair, the way he'd leaned in, his smile so effortlessly close.

"Urgh!!!!!" he screamed his lungs out, his own voice foreign to his ears, edged with a deep-seated fury that scraped like broken glass. He clutched his own hair, tugged his clothes which felt suffocated, threw the cushions... "Just why????"...... he screamed repeatedly as he created a mess out of his living room. Anger surged through him, sharp and unstoppable, and Zhan clenched his fists, feeling as though he could crush steel with his bare hands.

Zhan's hands clenched and unclenched, fingers twitching with a compulsion to destroy something, to release this savage energy he had never known himself capable of. There was a nagging desire—a haunting temptation—to see something shatter, even if that meant it would be Yibo's trust, his faith, perhaps even his heart or maybe Yibo as whole.

As if at this point all he wanted was Yibo to understand his pain and for that he wanted Yibo to be in pain. He hated himself for it, this madness was extremely new to him....somewhere confusing, somewhere childish. Yet the feeling clawed at him with relentless intensity. He marched inside his bedroom but that added more fuel. The bed, the room a sharp remind of Yibo's absence, fuelled his rage. His fists were clenched against the edge of the bed, his breathing sharp and erratic. With a loud crash sound Zhan turned the bed upside down.

As the rage clouded his senses, Zhan's eyes fell on the mirror across the room, catching his own reflection—jaw clenched, eyes dark with fury, barely able to recognize the man staring back. For the first time, he feared himself. He feared what he might do, the damage he could inflict. And beneath that fear, a shame took root, mingling with his anger in a way that left him feeling lost, even helpless. He wanted to stop....wanted to be in control but all he felt as if something precious was slipping from his grasp, and the very thought of someone's closeness with Yibo... it made him feel reckless, unstable.