the archer | Max Verstappen

ten

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚊-

It's 3 a.m. 

The studio is dead quiet except for the rhythmic clicking of my keyboard. 

I can't sleep. 

My mind won't stop racing.

My fingers keep moving, writing, the words coming faster than I can even think them through.

 It's like my brain is trying to keep up with the emotions I've been stuffing down for so long.

The lyrics for Lacy come out almost too easily. 

It's almost scary how much I hate Avery's name right now, how much I feel like I want to rip the last of our friendship apart in a song.

"Smart sexy Lacy, I'm losing it lately
I feel your compliments like bullets on skin
Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate
Well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?"

That one stings, even as I type it. 

It's been months since I found out about Avery and Zack. 

The betrayal still feels raw, and I don't even know why I thought we could just get over it. 

I see her in everything I do—every song, every melody. 

She was my best friend, and she took everything from me. 

I almost want to send this song to her, but I'm not sure if I care enough anymore.

Making the Bed comes next. 

I don't even need to think too hard about it; I'm just spilling out all the mess of my own life. 

The guilt. 

The exhaustion. 

The way it feels to always be on display, to smile and act like everything's okay, but inside, I'm completely falling apart.

"I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am
Every good thing has turned into something I dread
And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head
But it's me who's been making the bed"

God, this song is all my shame wrapped up in a bow. 

I keep thinking I should've been stronger.

I should've known better. 

I should've said no to everything and everyone, but here I am—tired, scared, and stuck.

Finally, I Know Places hits me. 

This one's different. Max. 

The one thing in my life that's kind of starting to feel real. 

I never expected to find something in him. 

I thought it was just the PR stunt that everyone thought it was, but somewhere along the way, he's becoming... someone I trust. 

Even if he's still mostly just a stranger in the spotlight. 

I can't even figure it out.

I'm so scared of this being another mistake, but at least for tonight, I don't care.

"You stand with your hand on my waistline
It's a scene, and we're out here in plain sight
I can hear them whisper as we pass by
It's a bad sign, bad sign"

I smile as I write it. 

It's strange, to write songs like this. 

I've always had to write about the pain, about the things that make me feel small, but these songs feel like something different. 

A mix of bitterness, loneliness, and hope I never thought I could have.

I glance at the clock. 

It's almost morning. 

I don't know if I'm done. 

But for now, it feels like I've gotten something off my chest, something that was suffocating me for too long. 

Maybe, just maybe, it's time to start living for me.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───