Andromeda: The Last Descendants

Ch. 19

Four months have passed by in no time. Nicky has come almost every day after that night she caught us. Mostly just hanging out and learning more about the Azurians. She's become fascinated by their culture the same as I am, and longs to learn even more. She's learned more about their technology advancements by the weaponry they behold. Az was nice enough to allow her to take a few of the gadgets from the strap on his suit to run tests on and analyze. It was like seeing a child on Christmas morning when he handed over 4 different ones. I think he did it mostly to have her leave so we had time alone together. Nonetheless, she was thankful for his kindness.

He's mentioned some of his friends to us, one being the weaponry specialist, and has told Nicky about his major advancements in that field. She listened to every word he said as if it were a sacred healing technique. I would have listened if that were true but it was mostly gibberish to my ears. What surprised Nicky the most is that they haven't tried to take their advancements any further than what they've already got. After all, she's in the technology field where they constantly try to improve things and make things better. The Azurians could and have the technology to do it by what Nicky has discovered through the weaponry she has tested, but somehow I think where they've made it is enough, and Az thinks so as well. I wish my people kept their advancements to a minimum. Maybe if we took after the Azurians in a way we'd still have our lives and a living planet. But one can only wish in these times because there's no going back.

My father hasn't stepped foot in here which he normally never did before anyway. I have shown my face around the camp per Nicky's request, since being gone for 4 days the last time was unlike me. So, I go out there about once a week so my presence is known and there's no suspicion towards me. I have spent time with my father mostly due to bumping into him while walking through camp. He's been busy with his soldiers, I could tell since he never strays far from his Commander's tent. When we do cross paths he mostly asks me what I've been up to and if the dinner has been good. That just proves my point that he hasn't left this tent. I can see the stress in his eyes and the creases on his forehead. He's under a lot of pressure and it just makes me feel guilty for not being there for him. I'm supposed to look after him, but I haven't been there. So once a week I've made it my goal to get him out of that tent and enjoy the fresh air.

It's really hard though for me and Az to be apart. We have gotten so used to each other's presence in the small amount of time that having him out of my sight physically hurts. My heart pounds and begs me to go back to him, wanting me to be in his arms and stay there forever. Every night we lay in each other's embrace, my head on his chest as I fall asleep to the beat of his heart. It is so soothing that if any worries come to me the sound of his heart in my ear eases them away. I have not had any more nightmares since I started sleeping with him, the darkness that swept my mind has faded into a serene meadow filled with flowers and those beautiful butterflies. The comfort it brings has me feeling well-rested in the mornings like I've gotten more sleep in this short time frame than in my years before.

Az has gotten more anxious though lately. Like being cooped up in this room is driving him mad. He's told me before that his people are one with nature, so I feel that him being here confined to these walls makes him nothing more than a caged animal. I can see the way his eyes dart outside my window in longing as he gazes toward the forest. I know he wants to leave, but he will never admit it to me. Nicky and I have talked plenty of times about the ongoing situation at the border and she heard that last month they started to lighten patrol. Which means I will be able to get him out of here.

These past months have been great and I don't know how I will feel about him leaving. My room will feel so empty when he is gone and his closet will sit bare like a taunting void of what could have been. Yes, I cleared him out a space for his clothes and shoes and it sits full with the amount he's made in the time he's been here. Four months is all it took for me to feel so attached to him. It will kill me when he goes home, a part of me will be so broken that I won't be able to heal from it. He's my cure to the darkness that plaques my mind and I need him. Can I bring myself to let him go? After all, they say if you love something then set it free. But I don't think I can bring myself to let him be free. He's mine, but also I am his. He's made his claim on me, would me doing the same keep him here? Or would he leave the moment he gets the chance? It's dangerous for him to stay though. My father's men wouldn't hesitate to kill him. They didn't hesitate the moment they saw him in the woods that day. So can I bring myself to overlook those dangers? No, I can't. I care about him too much to allow harm to befall him.