.. 1 May 1983 (Sunday) / 14 day of a new life
Hi! Today we went to the beach! All along, I, Carol Owen, Rufus and the guys from the band. Swim course was cold, but we went to the night, drinking beer and eating crackers, it's true delicious, it is the first time I ate, but I was pleasantly surprised. Good thing I just did not show where they bought.
Today, at the end of the day Rufus wanted me to do, because Carol went for a walk with her new boyfriend, but Owen forbade him. In the end, I went alone, because I do not like what they were quarreling about me. This is the most horrible that can be. I hate when because of me fighting.
It's been two weeks since I left home. It was a wonderful time and I hope that more will only get better!
May 3, 1983 (Tuesday) / 16 day of a new life.
Hi! Here I go again, and I can tell you though that I can feel at the moment. And I do not feel anything. I seemed to have selected a piece of the soul. Mom called and said that I would immediately return home. But I do not want! I'm so hard to resist that sometimes seems to me that that's - that I fell. Go to where a normal shower, clean clothes, new bedding, where home worker and personal bathroom. But I do not want to leave this life. I do not want to throw Carol, Steve, Owen ... Rufus .. How can I give up now, we have only recently begun to be friends, and I think I know his whole life! Although. Maybe that's right. If I leave now, then I would not be so painful. I'm already starting to notice that I was not so comfortable to live because I was not used to it ...
Yesterday I was walking again with Rufus in the park, we laughed a lot again. He publishes such energy that I can not even smile at it .. I do not feel the seriousness of their actions with him. Lily Rhodes, what is it? ..
May 4, 1983 (Wednesday) / 17 day of a new life
Hello. I'm trying to write less, but I have lately so much emotion that at least someone should listen to me. Carol can hear me at any moment, I know that. But I do not want this to someone talk, except you. You're my best friend or girlfriend ... Today I saw Owen in the morning. He started talking about his motorcycle, and the band, but for some reason I kept thinking about Rufus.
You know, I began to notice that we are too different to Owen, we have few common interests, in recent years, long pauses more and more ..
May 6, 1983 (Friday) / 19 day of a new life
Hi! Today I was again at the concert Rufus. I really liked it! Again, I have fun at glory, and you know. Today, something happened that I was afraid. Owen and Rufus had a falling out. Because of me. Again they tried to find out who will lead me home because Carol stayed with her boyfriend.
When Rufus said he wanted me to do, Owen anger and almost threw the guitar and said "good luck friend" took off from behind the scenes. Can this be considered a quarrel? I think yes, because so much anger in the eyes of Owen I have not seen. I was even a little scared.
But then, Rufus took me home and I calmed down a bit and at the end of the evening even forgot about this unpleasant incident ...
But now, once again I remembered and again upset. I need them as something to reconcile because they quarreled because of me ...
May 8, 1983 (Sunday) / 20 day of a new life
Hello. Today I tried to make peace between Owen and Rufus, as always under very strange excuse. She said that we are going to celebrate the May 9 Victory Day. In America, this holiday does not say, but I just needed an excuse, and I said I was a child avid history buff and my whole world as one country. But it does not matter. When we met, Rufus and Owen were quite talkative and I had to tell them a little about the war, that would be possible they were bored and they are grouped, gagged me. But my method acted a bit wrong. They were very interested to hear about it but. What happened was that I was afraid. When it came to the topic of conversation service in the army, then their opinions and dispersed.
One of them, believed that military service is nothing good for a not bear, and the second vehemently argued that this was necessary. They began to argue, but when Rufus said, "How can I forgive the country that has been a friend and the people who put the knife in the back?", Owen jumped up and shouted, "And as well as to forgive the man who in front of the best friend flirts to a girl who likes a friend! " then they both stopped and looked at me. Honestly, at that moment, I wanted to disappear forever and no longer appear in this city, in this country, in this world .... After the spoken words from both sides, Rufus went in silence, it seems he realized his mistake, and I could not endure He looked at Owen and said that nobody asked and that he has no right to dispose of me and I also ran ...
When I came home, I was terribly ashamed and I even began to collect things. Now I'm writing all this and do not even know what to do ...
