⊂⊃ 𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗬 ﹑ 𝟬𝟭 ﹑ 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗦 !

90 8 11
                                    

JUDGE katiegoesmew

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.


JUDGE katiegoesmew

Rhyshannon Chronicles -Bk. 1:A Path of Swords
By Aravis-Brightspell

Total: 96/100

Title: 5/5

I'm always down for a good fantasy novel, and throwing in a series with the word "chronicle" is a surefire way to hook me. Add in some sword action, and it would take a lot to deter me from reading. My only complaint is against Wattpad, not you. I wish there was some way to list the series name and the book name separately in the title, so both fit on the screen. And for some reason, I'm incapable of writing "swords" in this title when I type it out, and I have to go back and add the extra "s" to make it plural every time. But that's clearly a "me" problem. 😅

Cover: 5/5

Yes. Absolutely. This looks like a cover I'd see in Barnes & Noble when browsing the fantasy section. Series name, book name, your name-without the annoying "by" I see listed on so many covers-and a dark, moody image with a hooded figure, waves crashing, abnormally colored lightning streaking across the water, a rocky outcropping and a foreboding castle-this is candy for my li'l fantasy-lovin' soul.

Blurb: 4/5

Overall, great blurb, but a couple grammar things and one suggestion. First, the "would" in the first sentence feels off with the tense. This is written in present tense, and obviously, things happen in the past even when you're writing in present tense, but it feels better to me to change this to "will." Second, I'd remove the comma after "nightmare" in the second sentence. And third and final, I'd cut the comma and "himself" in the third sentence. It feels like the flow is better that way. But, yes, you're still dangling the proverbial carrot in front of my face, and I'd be hard pressed not to read this book, so obviously, you have done your job of hooking me quite well.

Plot & storytelling: 15/15

From the very beginning, this plot sucked me in and wouldn't let go. I've never read anything like it. Three worlds, time variations, multiple species and corrupted species, unique languages, complex magic and deep mythology-this has everything. Absolutely everything. And it's all told in a very engaging, driving way, dropping crumbs of information to the reader as the story progresses, filling in the blanks with more detail as necessary and without bulky info dumps. This is a superb story, and I can't wait for you to finish it.

Character development: 10/10

I hesitate to call Jared the main character. He's the central character, the single point this entire story revolves around, but his perspective is only one of many used throughout the narrative. His character development follows an incredibly unique progression, tying the fifteen-year-old boy in the beginning chapters to memories from years past to ancient knowledge to an eighteen-year-old intricately bound to an entity thousands of years old, giving his thoughts a strange paradox as they relate the present to another person's memories from ages long lost to time. Add into all that his innate magical abilities, which paint his entire worldview in multiple layers of energy, pain, and beauty, and it's no wonder his personality changes and unfolds in such a drastic manner from the beginning to the end of published material. The frightened boy, simultaneously helpless and powerful beyond reckoning, becomes an angry young man, scarred beyond healing and searching for answers.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: 6 days ago ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

ELGANZA, INC. | AWARDSWhere stories live. Discover now