Trust Issues (Sam Winchester x Reader)

Chapter 4

As you lay there crying, there is a knock on the door, "Hey Y/N, it's me Dean. Sam left. Please let me in."

Gathering up the strength, you push yourself off the floor, and unlock the door before collapsing on your bed.

Dean opens the door, and sits next to you on your bed. He tries to place his hand on your back, but you flinch,  not being able to handle personal contact.

"I don't know what happened to you down there, but I know it was probably horrific. I don't know what they made you think, but Sam wasn't down there with you." Dean told you.

Sitting up, you looked at Dean. "He wasn't?"

Dean shook his head. "Man they really messed with you down there. Sam was up here the whole time, drinking away his sorrows. I just barely got him back in hunting."

Realizing it wasn't Sam who had tortured you, but a Demon who looked like him made you feel a little better. You take a deep breath and told Dean everything, about Crowley,  and how the Demons tortured you, leaving nothing out. He sat there, not saying a word, but would clench his fists and jaw in anger. When you finished, he got up and paced your room.

"Son of a Bitch! I knew Crowley was a sneaky bastard, but this is a new low for him."

Thinking for a moment you tell Dean, "I know now it wasn't Sam, but I still have all those memories. I'm not sure how I will handle being around Sam. Will you please tell him for me?"

"Sure but he would rather hear it from you." Dean argued.

"I can't, not yet," You begged.

Dean finally agreed, leaving you alone. You lay on your bed, staring at the wall, wondering what would happen now. Would you ever be able to look at Sam again, not as the demon who tortured you, but as the man whom you loved more than anything. As you lay there, you hear the bunker door open, and you sneak down the hallway, wondering what they were talking about. You hide in the hallway, listening in.

"Well Dean, did you get her to talk? It broke my heart when she looked at me like that. What the hell happened to her down there?"

Dean forces Sam in a chair, handing him a shot of whiskey. "Here you'll need this." Dean then tells Sam everything you had told him.

"That's why she freaked around me. I'm going to kill that bastard Crowley!"

"Woah, easy tiger, we need to get Y/N better first."

You peak around the corner and watch as Sam runs his hands through his hair, tears in his eyes. "What can I do Dean? The woman of my dreams can't even look at me right now!"

"We will figure something out, we always do."

A rustle of wings were heard from the room, and Castiel appeared, startling the boys.

"Hello Dean...Sam. Is Y/N back yet?" He asks, walking closer to the brothers.

"Cas, did you raise Y/N?" Sam asked.

"Yes I did, I'm sorry it took so long, but I had to gather enough power before I was able to. Have you seen her? Is she alright?"

Sam takes another shot of whiskey. "Yes I've seen her, I saw her have a panic attack as soon as she saw my face. Dean told me what happened to her down there. It was horrible."

Cas shook his head, "I was afraid of that, she was in Crowley's personal dungeon."

"Can't you make her forget?" Sam wondered.

"I'm not strong enough to do so." Cas said, shaking his head.

Deciding to join them you walk in, facing your fear. Sam stood up, uncertainty on his face as he took a step towards you, but seeing you take a step back he sits down.

You walk over to the other edge of the table and sit down. "Thank you Cas, for getting me out of there. I know it's going to be hard, but I'm going to try hard to put it in the past. Sam, I know it wasn't you down there, but please understand that it will take me a while to get pass that. I hope you can wait for me, but understand if you can't."

Sam stood up, leaning over the table. When he saw you flinch, he stepped back, with tears in his eyes. "I love you Y/N, and I will wait. I just wish there was a way I could help you."

"Thanks Sam." You say, walking back to your room. Changing into clothes that you had left behind, you climb into bed, wishing that your familiar bed will let you get a couple hours of rest. Closing your eyes, you quickly fall into sleep.

"No, Sam, please stop! No! Stop!" You scream,  thrashing about in your bed. Sam rushes in, his face dropping when he hears what you are screaming. He shakes you awake, "Y/N, come on sweetheart,  it's just a nightmare, please wake up."

Waking up, you see Sam with his hands on your shoulders, scared, you jump out of bed cowering in a corner. "Please don't hurt me!"

"It's me Sam, not that bastard demon version of me. Please, let me help you. This is breaking my heart."

Trying to be brave, you walk over to Sam,  placing your hand on his cheek. He leans into your touch, smiling. However, when he tries to brush hair from your cheek, you flinch, and he draws back as if you slapped him.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I'm trying. Please forgive me."

He sits against your bed, and you lean on the far side. "it's alright Y/N, I understand, it's just hard seeing you in pain, and being able to do nothing."

He gets up to leave, and you take a chance. "Sam, stay with me?"

He agrees, laying down on his side, facing you but as far away as possible.  You lay down, facing him. You take his hand, and hold it in yours, falling asleep that way.