Second Chances (1D)

WHY?!

Louis' POV

It's been a couple days since theropy and we went back to work. Today we have our first concert since I died and of course it's in Manchester.

*Two and a half hours later.*

We did our concert and I shed a few tears. Now Liam and I are in our room.

"Night Liam." I said getting into bed

"Night Lou." He said doing the same thing.

I rolled over in my bed and soon fell into a deep sleep flooded with nightmares of Eleanor.

*About 12:00 a.m.*

I woke up from a terrible nightmare about Eleanor. It was on the day of the crash. I saw the car come barrling towards her but I also saw the driver.

It was me.

I drove the car that killed my girlfriend.

The love of my life.

My eyes shot open as I shot up in bed crying and sweating. I looked around the hotel room as if I was looking for something but I don't know what. I looked to my left and Liam was sound asleep. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back to sleep. So I went into the living room part of the hotel room and took my Eleanor journal out of my suitcase along with a pen. It's helped me lately so as I sobbed on the couch I wrote.

Dear Eleanor,

Why? Why did you do it? Why did you have to die? You should've at least tried to survive! Instead you just give up! Damn you Eleanor! Damn you! You completely changed me and my life. You ruined me!! You ruined us. What we were! What we could've been! And then I join you and you kick me out! How dare you! If you can be up there so can I! I bet no one's after us. No one! You just didn't want me! I bet you have another boyfriend up there too! I can't believe I loved you! You never loved me! I wish it really was me who killed you! You desrved it! If I could I would kill you! You killed me in spirit, in love, in life! I needed you and you abandoned me! I can't believe I wanted to marry you! That's another thing! And? And? And what El?! And what?! Why am I asking. You wouldn't've said yes! You would've said Hell no! I'd never marry you! And I know in Heaven you can control people's dreams! You probably caused all my nightmares enjoying my pain! I don't love you! I never did and I never will!

I put my pen down shaking and looked at the tear stained paper. I was going crazy. My eyes were filled with tears and my body racked with sobs. I picked up the knife and cut my wrists a few times enjoying the pain. I then decided that wasn't enough. I picked up a mirror off the wall. I screamed and slammed it on the ground shattering it. Damn that felt good. I continued breaking stuff and screaming still crying. After a while I felt someone shake my shoulders. Probably Liam. He continued this trying to make me stop but I ignored him. After a while he left. I don't know where he went but I couldn't care less. I screamed again, grabbed the knife and went over to the wall. I began to scrape the knife along the wall tearing up the wall paper. I continued this until I heard talking.

Liam.

He was in the kitchen. I grabbed a broken lamp post and listened at the door for a second. He was on the phone talking about me. I went in there holding the lamp post. I started towards him.

"No. No! Put that down! Louis you put that down! No. No! No! Louis!"

(A/n ot sure if that's what I said in the last chap. I tried to remember it. Oh well.)

I ignored his protests and brought the post down on his head. He was immediately out and drooped the phone. I dropped the lamp post and fell to the floor in sobs. I looked around the room.