Crush ˙˚ʚ('◡')ɞ˚˙ (Ricky - s.qr ❤)

Chapter 20: Being a CS student

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I was going through writer's block and midterms T_T + I was more busy with my Fushiguro Megumi fanfic, but I am back now.
Korean: Normal text.
Bold: Japanese
This one is in Mandarin
This one is in English

A few days had passed since Ricky had returned to Seoul. Yumeko's grade card for the previous semester had been released. After viewing that, she was actually disappointed in herself. She hadn't failed in any subject but it wasn't up to the mark, she could do better...much better. After being done with her day at college, she went back home and fell asleep while thinking about her grades. That day her brother came back from work earlier than usual.

"Hey, I am back.", he announced as he walked up to her room.

"Hi...", she trailed off before saying, "You're back early."

"Got done with work unexpectedly fast. But what's wrong with you? Is everything okay? Yu-chan?", said Izana as he quirked a brow. He often affectionately called sister Yu-chan, especially whenever she was down.

"Uhhh....Well...", Yumeko bit her lip, hesitant about revealing the real reason. However she knew that Izana was the only one who could help her, and that's why she ended up saying, "The previous sem's grade card was given to us today....."

"Fuck, did you fail in something?"

"What- No! I passed but....The grades are....very low tier average.....I feel terrible....I...know what's wrong...but... ugh, it's complicated."

Izana frowned and sat beside her on her bed. He placed an arm around her back and asked, "What's wrong? Yu-chan? If you don't open up and tell me everything, I won't be able to help. You trust your nii-san, right?"

Yumeko looked up at him and nodded with a sigh. She stayed silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath.

"So....since the last semester....I feel lost...I don't feel like studying anymore...I feel that I am getting way too internet addicted. Whenever I open my laptop to study, I spend more time doing other things and...and just feel lost, and irritated whenever I try to study. It's like I have given up and can't do it anymore...It's eating me up internally. I want it to stop but I don't know how..."

"Hmm....Seems like you are burnt out and...scared of other things too. What's going on?"

"Not getting a job properly...Slaving myself to a job that will suck my soul out.....And so many other things..."

"Uh-huh...Go on...Yu-chan."

"You know...I see Kaito-"

"Wait, Kaito as in....your crush from your class in college?". The siblings suddenly switched to English but it wasn't something uncommon. They frequently conversed in both Japanese and English with each other.

"Yeah him...So I see him with his girlfriend all the time. Most of my feelings for him have been lost but I still feel sad because it's not just about him, but each and every one of my crushes. None of them have ever liked me back and whenever I see Kaito with Saki, his girlfriend, I always think... why am I never the choice for any of the guys I have ever liked? The ones who like me aren't usually good or just want a casual fling. I don't really connect with a lot of people in my college and you know what? I am scared...of falling in love, and my future in general, sometimes I just want to end myself because I am so scared of loneliness, failure and the fact that I can't motivate myself to improve myself and save myself from just wasting time...I wanna die, I am too scared.", by now Yumeko was already full-on crying.