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Chapter 1

"Where did I go wrong?" I scribbled the cursive writing into my journal. I recently started writing down my feelings, a new technique of mine to calm myself. It's like letting my heart pour onto paper relieves the heaviness I feel in my chest. I wasn't always this unhappy. I closed my little red journal that held all my secrets, leaned over and placed it back where it belonged; in my dressers drawer. Leaning back, I starred long and hard at the ceiling fan. It's amazing how I could relate so well so an inevitable object. My life was going in such a circle, I feel so alone. I know millions of women would die dreaming of the position I'm in, but dammit I'm so fucking unhappy with myself.

I'm a housewife for crying out loud, I live in a million dollar home and I'm married to the number one attorney in Miami, although I have the glitz, the glam, and all the money I could ask for I can't help that I long for love from my husband. A handbag and Louis Vuitton doesn't say "Rhyan I love you"! I screams, "here, take this shit bitch and be happy I'm thinking about your ass for the moment"! Although I enjoy the finer things, I'll really love some recognition around here. When I first laid eyes on Lorenzo, I knew we'd be in love forever. Smart, educated black brother with a little bit of change who swept me off my feet. Of course at the time I didn't know any better, I was just a boy crazy broad from Compton. Didn't know much about what was out side my city, but Lorenzo, he showed me so much.

I rolled my eyes as I listened to Lorenzo snore. He always snored, I was used to it but it always woke me up during the night. I flipped back the covers in frustration, sighed and comfortably positioned my feet in my slippers. Morning approached, and the sun danced dim lighting across our hard wood floors in the kitchen. I brew coffee for Lorenzo because I knew he'd be up soon. I was startled by the upstairs alarm and sighed. "Another day". I mumbled blowing into a Starbucks mug. I clenched my robe tightly as I approached the morning breeze stepping alongside the back porch. I loved to watch the sunrise.

My eyes heavy due to lack of sleep, I yawned. How did I get so unhappy? I found myself laughing at memories and soon my smile faded as the bad ones approached me. "Morning". Lorenzo said dryly startling me. "Morning". I said back to him. I felt like a stranger in my own home. Like I just didn't belong with this man anymore. "Getting ready to leave"? I questioned him, only trying to spark conversation since we don't have much of that anymore.

"Yeah, gotta get down to the office to finish up on this Jones Vs. Dickerson case. Then I'll probably go for drinks with a couple of coworkers, maybe lunch". He assured me gazing through Monday's paper. I sighed.

"Don't start that shit Rhyan"! He said carelessly. I sighed even louder. He put the paper down with frustration and looked me in my face leaning back in his cushioned lawn chair.

I starred at him as he repositioned himself comfortably so he could here me "rant".

"What the fuck is your problem"? He questioned me, placing down his coffee mug.

"We, we- just don't spend any time together Lorenzo. I mean, I just don't feel married. I'm here, I cook, I clean, and you go out and-"!

"-and work all day to provide for my family, so cut the bullshit. If you don't wanna stay in all that shit you like I can easily slack on my shit. You know what Rhyan, it's amazing how I don't hear your complaints when you spending up all my money"! He said cutting me off.

"What"? I was completely flabbergasted.

"You heard what I said"! He said. "I don't care about all that shit. You buy me that stuff to uphold your image. It's amazing how you're not giving a damn about how your wife feels. You don't give a fuck about no one but your damn self"! I yelled. I was so fed up with his shit.

"Fuck you"! He stood up slamming his paper on the table. His figure slowly disappeared as he left my presence. I sighed, and looked up trying to avoid approaching tears from falling. I could feel my eyes become glossy, but I refused to cry over him. Not by the way he's treating me. He treating me like I'm not even his wife. Where did I go wrong? Then it became to dawn upon me, is there someone else? I followed this man here to fulfill his destiny and start his dream job, only to put my life on hold, abandoning my true passions. I'm separated from all of my friends and family and half of them want nothing to do with them because they assume I look down on them because I gotta little bit of money.

They can have this money. Honestly. It's not even mine, and trust me, Lorenzo reminds me every chance he gets. I soon heard the garage door open and the back door close. I sighed, sipping coffee and knew he was gone. I dusted myself off and gathered my thoughts before getting up and starting my day.

I gathered clothing, and picked out a bra and panties and headed to my running shower. Walking through the doubles doors into my bathroom I glanced at my appearance where a mirror lie embedded in the wall. My body stood short and curvy. I'm 5'4, smooth Carmel skin, medium sized breast, and my hips spread from puberty, also sex. I'm not a super model, and I'm not the perfect woman that every guy dreamed of but I was satisfied with my body.

Was Lorenzo? Was he tired of me? I always question myself, but I never reassure myself that he may actually be the problem. All my life, my married life, I've been with one man. That was Lorenzo. The first guy I've ever loved, and the first guy I've ever had sex with. I couldn't even imagine me being with someone else.

I'm aware of all of Lorenzo's other flings but they never made it into his heart. That's what I did, but every since he's been promoted and he's got some recognition around this bitch he's forgotten about his main priorities, that he has a wife at home that he's abandoning. He won't even let me have a baby. All my life I've wanted a little boy or girl of my own, to love. Big Lorenzo cut off that dream of me ever becoming a mother. I don't mention it or bring it up, because it'll only make him upset with me.

I let the water dance across my smooth skin, as I drowned in my own thoughts and insecurities.
—-

I knew I'd be home all day alone, so I didn't bother to come back. I wanted to have fun tonight. Lorenzo was going to be at the "office" all night so I had time to spare, not like he'd miss me anyway. I dressed myself in a fitted dress with 7'inch pumps, I styled my hair perfectly. I was going to a club. I've been hearing about this one particular club now here in Miami for a while called truth but I never could get Lorenzo to go with me so I never had a chance to check it out alone.

The scenery was gorgeous, very up-classed, and elegant but it wasn't to bougie. I sat at a bar table and ordered a round of drinks. They played seductive music and I twisted my hips a bit in the chair and sipped a margarita.

"Strawberry Appletini"! The bartender announced as he placed the beverage in front of me.

"Oh no sir, I didn't order this"! I informed him.

"I know ma'm the gentleman over there did". He assured me, pointing in his direction. He was gorgeous. His smile danced across his face as he put up his hand as he waved in my direction. I blushed and watched as he walked over.

"Here alone"? He questioned. "I'm Chase by the way, hope you didn't mind me buying you a drink". He stated.

"Hello, and no I didn't mind. That was very kind of you sir". I smiled.

"Call me Chase, and your name"? He questioned.

"Rhyan". I instated. He smiled at me and starred at me. I became a little uncomfortable.

We talked the whole night and eventually exchanged numbers, I was a little intoxicated so he insisted he drive me home. It didn't dawn on me that I was married until we pulled up into my driveway and Lorenzo's Bentley was parked there. I immediately sobered up and quickly grabbed my purse and ran into the house.

"Rhyan"! , "Rhyan"!? I heard Chase call after me. I knew it had to startle him and make him wonder why I took off so fast, I just forgot to mention I was married.

Unhappily married.

New story, tell me what you think guys! Something new, and different kind of for older audience, and more mature. Hope you all enjoy. Don't forget to vote and comment.