Same As Yesterday |rant book| *Completed*

Stan's Part Two

So, quite a few of you enjoyed and helped me add to my previous Stan rant. So, I deliver to you, part two!!

I lied, there are more than four types of annoying Stan's. Way, way more lol... With the help of anonymousslim_shady and insomnia here's a few that I was able to come up with. If you have one that I might've missed, comment down under and I'll add it to the list. 👈Rapping skills.

More Annoying Types Of Stan's
By: alltimeshady

|The Left Behind|

These people stopped caring about Marshall in like 2009. They just skipped like the last six years because every time you want to talk about something new with these people. They have no idea what in the fug you're talking about. These are the iconic conversations that are most uttered by The Left Behinds:

"Hey bro, have you heard of Eminem's new song "We Made You"?"

"Dude, that came out like six years ago."

"Really? What about "Love The Way You Lie"?"

"You're getting there, five years ago."

"What about that Bad Meets Evil live stream? No ones seen that I bet you!"

"Nope, four years ago, mate."

It's like these people were cryogenically frozen in the Standom and just came out a couple months ago. It's also very, very annoying. Then when they use pictures of Marshall from like 2010 and ask when he's going to be blonde again.

My heart weeps for you. It bloody weeps.

|The Factoids|

There are two types of factoids:

-The people that think they know everything about Marshall and really do
and
-The people that think they know everything about Marshall and really don't know shlit.

I'm going to focus on the second one, since they are the most obnoxious. This is phase two from The Phony's. The Factoids try so, so hard to enlighten you on Marshall but it's so, so funny when they eff it up. Some quotes by The Factoids are these:

"Eminem's 43."

"Who's Proof?"

"Who's Obie Trice?"

"Eminem's mother died."

"Who's Hailie, Alaina and Whitney?"

"Who's Royce Da 5'9?"

"Who's D12?"

Probably the saddest one is when they ask who Proof is and you have to like inform them on him. Everyone has encountered effing losers like this. If you haven't, you have not tested your patience. And then, they have the nerve to pretend like what they know about Marshall is like top knowledge and nobody knows what it is.

I'm like just stop, before you hurt yourself.

|The Illuminati Busters|

These are the people that have a firm belief that Marshall's in the Illuminati. Like him in the Illuminati is like their entire life, religion, family, everything. I know he said something about it in "Say Goodbye to Hollywood", but that was thirteen years ago. And if any of the Illuminati Busters want to comment and be like:

"Bout althymeshadee!1! U caint denie that Eminim is in the alluminaty!!1!"
Yes, I can.

And then there's #prayforEminem. What the serious freak?!

Like, if we didn't focus on who's in the Illuminati and we focused on who's music we like the best, it'll be all good. I try not to focus on who's in it and who's not lol, and that makes life way simpler. As long as Marshall's not like:

"I LOVE LUCIFER, I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!!!" Then we'll be all good.

(Comment if you know the reference😏)

|The Misspelled|

Okay, this might just be for me, but I cannot stand it when someone calls him Shady all the bloody time. Or misspells Marshall. Or just calls him Eminem.

Like, no.

I once read a fanfic on here where his name was "Marshell" and he was referred to as Eminem 99% of the freakin' time. Idk why this is so bothersome, but it is. Like, if you love him so much, you should at least know his name. It's not very hard to learn lol.

Also, The Misspelled are probably the worst when it comes to explaining the Eminem, Slim Shady, Marshall Mathers aspect. Comment if you've never had this happened to you:

"Hay, I was lystining two dis soeng, it wazz celled "The Rael Slim Shadee", I haive a queachion, who tf iz Slim Shadee?"

"Oh, it's just Eminem's alter ego. He's the one that makes these like explicit songs about killing, drugs and all."

"Oh!! Itz joust Eminim da whaole thyme!1!1"

"No, Eminem is both Marshall Mathers and Slim Shady."

"Whaet!1! What tf is a Marshaelle Manthers?"

"The person who's behind all of it."

"Bout I thot it wazz the Rael Slim Shadee!!!!!"

Like, you get my gist. I could understand the first time, it's pretty confusing. But if I have to explain this to you one thousand other times, you can't get it and you'll just be in the Left Behinds.

|The Jealous Woes|

These girls are the spin off of The Stan Sexual's. Like I said, I think Marshall is probably the most attractive guy out there. But, this makes me a SS by no means. The Jealous Woes are freaks of effing nature who get super protective over any girl Marshall has contact with.

Like in 8 Mile when he was making out with Brittany Murphy, these girls were on Instagram and Snapchat being like this:

"Omg, Brittany Murphy is such a busted arse looking fat ugly slut. I would kill myself if I looked like the skankazore."

"How does Rihanna not have a STD from all times her and Marshall have done it."

"Dina Rae is such a fat, repulsive skank. I hate her with all my heart."

Like whoa, there's so much salt you could die of dehydration. It's not Marshall's fault he isn't a pedophile and doesn't want to date a 13, 14, 15 year old girl. And you know in fanfics when the girls on Marshall's Twitter and like harassing her? The Jealous Woes are making up all of the those tweets.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I had a blast writing it. I'm updating Never 2 Far and RGAHOM.

Catch ya later😉~alltimeshady