before & after ‣ 엔하이픈

038 ; letters & present

Min Jiho, father of Aeri and Yoongi, left letters for his children in the case he passes earlier than expected. He loved his children in both life and death, and he wanted them to know this even in his absence.
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for AERI

My loving daughter who I have recently met and loved immediately,

As you read this, something unfortunate had happened, one that I do not wish to inflict on you and your brother. I write this because my own father used to do the same with me, and when he passed before I could come to adulthood, I had used his letter as a way to keep myself reminded that even in his absence, I have a parent who loved me too much he wrote 19 letters to tell it to me.

Your mother hoped that you'd be as smart as me, but I hoped you would be as beautiful as she is. She became a bit mad with me because she took it like I merely wanted you to be beautiful. But, a part of me already knew you were going to be smart, anyway. Your brother is smart, there's very little chance you won't end up the same.

When your mother gave birth to you, I knew immediately my wishes had been granted because you were as beautiful as your mother. While I celebrated in finally having a version of me and your mother, she feared that you would live a life that she had.

I first met your mother at a party. She was a date of some man who wanted to parade her around because she was the most beautiful person there. At first, I wondered why she would agree to be part of some blatant show, but when I talked to her that night, she told me the only reason she even agreed was because she wanted to see how insanely absurd the rich was. Apparently, she was doing it to prove to some friend she could become one of the rich if she acted like she was part of it. I laughed. I was there to find some business partners, but she was there to test us. In amusement, I had asked her to accompany me to more parties. She would get what she wanted and I would get I wanted. People both hated and loved her. She was new, she was fresh, she was smart, and she was more beautiful than most of them. They thought she was a gold-digger just because of her background, but really all I saw was a girl challenging us and doing it so successfully.

I tell this story because I know your mother never would. She doesn't exactly share the same excitement as I did about our past. She is afraid of her old self because of how much she had been judged for marrying a status higher than hers. Sometimes, I'm saddened by how much she had to change herself.

But, I hope you get her old unafraid self.

In my absence, I hope you and your brother remember your mother as the fierce woman who wore red at every black and white party. She may no longer have those mischievous eyes now that she has totally become one of us, I wish you would see that part of her just as I had.

Now, my dearest Aeri, my only daughter. Your life will not be easy, no life is— no matter what you're given. You will face challenges. You will meet new people and lose them. You will fall in love and break your heart. You will fight with those you love, but eventually you'll be better. You may become so bored you would agree to attend a party and act like a trophy just to prove a point like your mother. Or you can be fool and fall in love immediately after meeting someone who makes you smile more than you've ever had in a lifetime like your father.

Your life is to be spent at your disposal. Use it wisely and completely. Become whatever you want to be. Fight for what you know is yours and you will survive. I hope that in this black and white world, you wear the brightest shade of gold and shine among all others. Not just because you are our daughter and you have everything we have, but because of who you are.