blowjob • 5sos

6

|Halyn|

Ashton shifts beside me, pulling me closer. My crying has almost stopped completely by now, my eyes red and puffy to show that I've been upset.

"Halyn? Are you alright?" He asks, speaking soft and slow. I sniffle, brushing my hands against my face in attempt to dry the tears that stained my cheeks.

"I don't know," I whisper back honestly. Emotions were rushing though my head; horror, disgust, shame, regret.... I can't believe I did that for a stupid ride. I'm such a slut, I'll never live this down. My eyes flutter closed with the intensity of my thoughts. I nestle my head into the crook of Ashton's neck.

"Lyn? Do you mind me asking what that was about..?" He questions hesitantly. Ash is such a great friend, not pushing me farther than my boundaries and trying to protect me from sadness. I don't want to him about my stupid mistake and my stupid run in with Michael. But this is Ashton, so I tell him anyways.

"Well, uh, the other day, when I needed to get a ride..." I start, my cheeks turning a shade of pink. "I forgot until last minute to ask someone, and then in the parking lot there was only one guy that could give me a lift." I say, fiddling with my fingers. Ashton raises an eyebrow.

"I don't see how this relates to Michael," he says, still confused. I sigh, looking at him.

"The guy in the parking lot was Michael. He was the only one that could take me home. And he didn't want to give me a lift because he was waiting for Liz," my words are trembling, and Ashton's eyes widen.

"You have him a blowjob so you could get a ride home," he whispers in shock, putting all the pieces of that day together and staring at me like I'm a stranger. I sob, covering my mouth with my hand.

"It was all I thought I could do, God, Ash, you must hate me, I'm such a whore. You know what, I'll walk home, you don't have yo talk to me ever again," I stammer, choking on my words and shifting farther and farther away from my best friend. I had given in to the anxious thoughts I always tried to block from my head. This was it. The end. I stand up and turn to walk away. Ashton always told me that he hated when girls disrespected their bodies for guys. He hates me. He'll never see me as his best friend again.

"Halyn, wait!" He cries, running to where I stood. I shake my head, flinching away from where he tries to grab my wrist. This wasn't some movie or book where they kiss and make up. Hell, I could never like him like that. What was he doing? Can't he see that I'm not good enough to be his friend?

"Ashton, stop making this harder than it has to be," I growl, wiping desperately at the tears staining my face. Ashton pushes me against the wall, pinning me in place with his body, forcing me to look him in the eyes. And then he says something I didn't expected to hear him say.

"Halyn, it's okay. It's okay. I promise I'll love you five ever and I'll want my best friend by my side for just as long. You're definitely not a slut, or a whore-- how many times have you rejected me when I asked for sex?-- you're the most amazing, selfless, and punk rock girl I know. Please don't shut me out." His heartfelt words make me clutch his shirt, and I bury my face in his neck. His hands find my waist, and I find myself uttering words that I can only try to start thanking him with. Ashton always knew when anxiety became too much; he always knew just what to say to make me see that I had to keep going, for him and for myself.

"Thank you..." I see that his face now has evidence to shed tears that match mine. Ashton laces our hands together and everything is right in the world. I know that I'll always have my best friend by my side. I rest my forehead against his, and we stay in that spot for a long time, simply whispering three words to reassure us that all will be okay.

"I love you."