Dear No One

The Happy Girl

She's known to many as 'the happy girl'.
The girl that no one ever gave a second glance to.
The girl that many envied.
The girl that lived a perfect life.
No one ever knew who she really was.
But that was okay.

Because for once all she really wanted to be was 'the happy girl'.
All she wanted was to escape the pain that was constantly dragging her down.
She wanted to escape the voices in her head.
The voices that were constantly telling her that she wasn't enough.
Not pretty enough, not skinny enough. Not good enough.

No one ever saw her drowing, because she was too busy rescuing others.
Rescuing her parents from their constant fights, rescuing her relationship and rescuing her best friend.
She was the girl everyone needed to keep their candles burning, but little did they know, she was on the edge of blowing out her own.

Tirelessly she fights for those closest to her.
Tirelessly she fights with knives stabbed in her back, tears staining her cheeks and masks concealing her pain.
Tirelessly she struggles to believe that things will get better.
Yet tirelessly she tries to let the people around her believe the same thing.

She can't even bare looking in the mirror anymore,
Because all she sees is who she thinks she's become.
All she sees is the monster that has posessed her soul.
She doesn't see the beautiful, strong girl that everyone else invisions because the monster's made her blind.

When we walk on tight ropes and can no longer keep our balance, it is the happy girl we fall back on.
But we forget that she's struggling with her own battles too.
We spend our whole lives oblivious to her pain because she has embroided it into her soul.
And she's okay with that.
Because when she's 'the happy girl', slowly the pain disappears, like the smoke from a roaring fire.

She's so used to faking a smile, she doesn't have to try and pretend anymore.

She's known to many as 'the happy girl.'
The girl that no one ever gave a second glance to.
The girl that many envied.
The girl that lived a perfect life.

There was once a time where she wished people would break down her walls and see the rainstorms she constantly treks through.

But now, she's okay with being the happy girl.

Or so she thought.