Shrek: Forever & Always [Book 4]

Chapter 19: 'Deal Of A Lifetime'

*Artie's POV*

About an hour after Rumpelstilskin's announcement, the citizens of Far, Far, Away presented the one they thought is Shrek.

I'm finding it a little difficult to refrain from laughing at them. One of them is clearly Geppetto with green face paint and ogre ears on him.

Rumpelstiltskin had already gone through a selection of the women who claimed to be Anna, but fortunately, Rumpelstiltskin has met her to know what she looks like.

Even Doris showed up pretending to be her...but if it was under any other circumstances, I would have burst out laughing.

"What's the betting Willow will make a surprise reveal by bursting through the doors behind us?" Zero asked quietly. "Because if I didn't know any better, she's not one to wait around and instead, take action into her own hands."

"Depends on what you're betting this time." I whispered. "Is it a 'deal of a lifetime'?" I joked.

"That depends. If I win, you will sign my paperwork for a week when we return." Zero spoke in a cocky tone. "Let's face it, neither of us like being cooped up indoors signing paperwork all day long."

"Unfortunately so." I mumbled, showing my distaste for it. "I say Shrek will be the one to burst open those doors with Anna behind him."

"And if you win?" Zero asked in curiosity.

I gave a slight shrug of my shoulders. "Then, you'll have to do the same, plus, you'll work together with Apollo and Hermes with babysitting duties."

Zero snorted. "As if Willow will allow you to make me do that when Alice is due to give birth any day now and will need me by her side during and after the birth. You know how it is 'Daddy'."

I glanced at him. "I think I just threw up a little. Don't...Don't ever say that again."

"What?" Zero asked. I'm absolutely sure he's smirking. "Is it 'cause only your daughter gets to call you that, and Willow...Well, need I say anymore?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're just gonna put this to rest now before we get caught interacting with each other. Besides, who says you and Alice can't stay here for awhile after she gives birth? We'd love to have you all here."

Zero looked around to make sure no one's looking before shaking my hand firmly. "Deal. But why the babysitting, though?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'll be treating my wife to a well-deserved holiday after going through all this. Besides, we won't be able to do much traveling when-"

"Not Shrek!" Rumpelstiltskin examined the ones the citizens pretended was Shrek. "That is not Shrek! Also not Shrek! That is not even an ogre, that's a troll - nice try! And that..." He pointed at The Big Bad Wolf wearing a cardboard mask of Shreks face. "...is just sad."

He stopped when he reached Pinocchio and Geppetto. "And what is that supposed to be?"

Poor Geppetto looked frightened. "Imma just a frightened old man."

"Don't listen to him!" Pinocchio tugged on Geppettos ropes, forcing him to shut up. "These ogres are crafty."

Rumpelstilskin pointed at Geppetto. "That is your father painted green!"

Pinocchio shook his head. "No, it's Shrek. Honest." His nose grew.

The nose doesn't lie, Pinocchio.

In fact, his nose grow so long, it poked one of Rumpelstiltskin's eyes.

As a result, Rumpelstiltskin got mad and began to scream the roof down. "Take them away!" He turned around with his back facing everyone as he leaned on the table. "Can no one bring me Shrek and The Lost Princess?! Where are they?! How hard can it be?!" He then started pounding the table in a tantrum while shouting. "I WANT THEM! I WANT THEM! I WANT THEM!"

Zero grabbed my attention and signalled me to move away. "I hear footsteps running. There's no mistaking it. It's them." I didn't waste any time and moved away from the doors quickly.

"Stiltskin!" Two familiar voices rang out.

"Word has it that you're looking for us, but look no further because we're here now." The voice of my wife rang out as she smirked while standing beside Shrek with her hands on her hips.

I moved toward the door and smiled at the sight of Anna. I then looked at Zero and motioned to Anna and Shrek, indicating that I won the bet, but he wasn't paying attention.

Rumpelstiltskin turned around sharply and grinned. "All right! Finally!" He grabbed the contract from the table and jogged towards the citizens as Anna and Shrek walked towards him. "Who turned them in? Who gets the 'deal of a lifetime'?"

Shrek snatched the scroll from his hand. "I do."

"What?!" Rumpelstiltskin's eyes widened. "B-B-But-"

"If I'm turning myself and The Lost Princess in, I get the 'deal of a lifetime'." Shrek sat on the thrown with Anna standing beside him. He placed the contract on the table, plucked a feather from Fifi, and lightly dipped it in ink ready to sign it, but he smirked at Rumpelstiltskin first. "That means you have to give me anything. I. Want."

"No! No! No!" With a frightened look on his face, Rumpelstiltskin climbed up onto the table and tried to cover the contract, preventing Shrek from signing it. "Only true loves kiss can break your contract! So, if you thought you were just gonna doot-doot-doot-doot-doo in here and get your life and Queen Anastasia's back-"

"We're not here to get our lives back."

I shared a look with Zero when Anna said that.

"Then, what do you want?" Rumpelstiltskin asked what I was thinking.

What could be more important than getting your life back?

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**End Of Chapter 19**
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