Awake• 3rd book

Chapter 23: Finding a Way

Awake~23

Claire Johnson

"Claire, I'm so sorry," he says quietly after feeding me some grapes. "I want to make it up to you, please?" I haven't said a word since we started eating and he has been feeding me with food for the past half hour and apologizing. "I know you haven't eaten that much, because of me so I know it's not an excuse to forgive me."

"I'm upset with you," I finally say.

"I understand. How can I make it up to you?"

"Shawn, you can't make up for a week of hanging out with her and completely ignoring me for her. How are you going to explain that? How are you going to explain the part that I've never felt so alone when you left me having nightmares in the middle of the night, because you were irritated or getting mad over a tie? I understand if your tie was like sixty dollars, but my dress was almost six hundred and for you to tell me to take it back... You also didn't listen to me when I was telling you how I felt the first time when you've been hanging out with them, but you completely were not listening to me. How do you explain that? That sure doesn't sound like you were missing your family there, because you absolutely hurt me. I've even questioned this relationship so many times. Shawn, I don't think you should've asked me to be your girlfriend, because maybe you aren't ready for a relationship..." I sigh. I'm not forgiving him yet. I want him to realize he can't only apologize, but he has to do more than that.

"Claire... What are you trying to say?" He's frowning slightly and looking quite annoyed. "Fine we'll take a break for now then."

"What? Shawn no..." What is he doing? I didn't want it to go this way.

"Until then, I'll go see Carla and you can make up your mind."

"I have made up my mind. I don't want you to hangout with her. I of course want to be with you."

"Claire, you can't tell me who to hangout with. I am not going to let you over control our relationship. She's a very nice girl and she's a cool youtuber that I subscribe to."

"Shawn, I don't like her," I say trying to get him to understand.

"So? Just because you're my girlfriend doesn't mean I can't hangout with her."

"She's not my friend. She mak-"

"Okay and?" He huffs. "I have to go wherever you go until I leave on tour so its your choice whether you want to be together or not, but you are not going to be a complete airhead. Not to me, to Carla, Rachel or Ari."

"We're done," I sigh too frustrated to deal with this situation at the moment. "I want time to think."

"No, I'm not giving you time to think. We're officially over. And you know what? Here, take the tickets and go with someone else. I'll go with Carla instead." He throws the tickets at me and my mouthparts. Shawn no... He looks at me like I'm the worst thing to look at for the moment. He takes everything he brought in here and slammed the door leaving me alone.

My eyes begin to water. I didn't want this to happen. No, I have to fix this. I quickly get up and make my way downstairs only to be stopped by Nash.

"Hey, what's going on Claire?" He asks softly. "What happened up there?"

"I-I need to talk to Shawn right now." He nods letting me go and I make my way over to the basement. I make my way downstairs and walk into the guest room to find Shawn there on the bed with paper already changed out of his tux. He frowns a little.

"What?"

"Shawn please," I plead.

"I thought this is what you wanted?"

"N-no. Shawn..." Why can't I say I love you? It won't come out of my mouth but it's what I'm thinking. I feel so overwhelmed right now.

"Then what?"

"I want you to fight for me."

"Yeah, and I want a girlfriend who can be understanding. I guess we don't get our ways."

"Shawn, I want us to be together."

"No. I'm letting you think for awhile since you don't have your mind exactly made up."

"I-I do," I say my breathing getting heavier and it it becomes harder to breathe. Why can't he understand he's stressing me out with this?

"Claire, go hang with Nash or Cam or Taylor," he says looking back down at the paper. "I broke up with you and I don't really want to get back together right now." I'm standing there feeling vulnerable. I stand there for a few minutes and he doesn't look up. I start to feel my heart beating too fast and I gasp falling to my knees trying to get air.

Shawn Mendes' pov

I hear her gasp and I look up to see her falling. My eyes widen and I rush over to her taking a hold of her scared.

"C-Claire?" I ask scared. She's having a hard time breathing. It's really quick. Her eyes are wide and she looks so scared. I have to do something. I don't want anything to happen to her.

I cup her face and lean in to kiss her. At first I felt her chest heaving a lot, but soon started to slow down and she was soon able to kiss back. I kiss her for a few more moments before I pull back and I watch as hers eyes opens.

"I-I'm sorry," she says softly disappointed that it was over. I help her stand up and she's a little shaky. "I-I'll leave you alone," she says looking down sadly. She starts to walk away, but I take her arm gently and pull her back and turn her around placing my lips back on hers.

"I-I love you," I say to her.

•I've been looking at this update for 4 days trying to decide why I'd write this?  SHAWN MENDES JUST SAID 'I LOVE YOU' TO CLAIRE! I'm still not finished... ☺️😏