Soldier's Broken Love

12.

Soldier's Broken Love

12.

Once they got home, Troy had carried Amanda to bed and tucked her in softly so that she didn't wake up, before he left the room he took a last look at his sleeping wife and could physically see that she was tired. Mentally and physically. He had caused this. Troy blamed himself for all the pain that she was going through, if he didn't go to the army then she wouldn't be feeling like she had lost her husband, her first love.

Then his thoughts wondered to the pregnancy situation, it might not even be Amanda that's the problem, it could be Troy. Neither of them had any idea.

Troy decided that he wanted to stay with his wife, so he closed their door and layed next to her as she slept peacefully, he could see the dried tear stains from her mascara that had ran down her face, but in Troy's eyes, she was still as beautiful as a rose.

He gently played with her soft hair, his eyes taking in all her beauty. In any other people's eyes, Amanda was an average looking woman, but to Troy, she was beautiful. Stunning. Angelic. You name it.

Troy just didn't know how he could harm such a delicate and perfect woman like Amanda, he knew that was going to be scarred in his memory forever.

No man should ever force himself on a woman, no matter the circumstances.

Just the thought of it had Troy holding his breath so he doesn't release the anger he wanted to shout out at himself.

It was times like these that Troy was able to release all his emotions, when nobody was looking.

A tear crawled down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away, feeling weak and stupid for crying. He was stronger then that.

"I'm so sorry Amanda." His voice was quiet, you could hear the pain in his voice that he was feeling for the both of them.

Amanda was awake ever since Troy had placed her on the bed, she just acted like she was asleep since she knew Troy was watching her.

"For everything that I've done to you."

His voice broke and Amanda knew he was close to crying, she wasn't going to act like she just woke up since she knew Troy would wipe away his tears and act like nothing just happened.

Amanda knew Troy hated to show how he felt, he went through a lot when he was in the war, Amanda couldn't blame him, if your emotions got the best of you whilst you're in the middle of fighting, you could die.

"I'll do whatever to make it up to you, I promise." His fingertips gently caressed her cheek, making sure it wasn't going to make Amanda wake up, even though she was wide awake and listening.

Amanda kept her breathing steady, and hoped that Troy didn't see her close her eyes even tighter to hold back the tears that were trying to escape.

Amanda couldn't remember the day where she wasn't trying to stop herself from bursting out in tears.

"I love you." Troy moved his hand away from her cheek and placed it back to his side as he smiled to himself. He was lucky.

A man would die to have a loyal, strong and independent woman like Amanda.

Troy sat up and got up from their bed, once the door closed proving that he left their bedroom, Amanda released a soft cry as her eyes opened, the tears quickly returning.

She just wanted a simple life. A happy marriage, one or maybe two children.

Now it seems like everything's in the way to make sure that doesn't happen.

Even though there was a strong connection between the couple, a toddler could even see that, they would both fighting their own demons that were getting in the way of anything that could make them happy, again.

Amanda always wanted children, so did Troy, but now there could be something that's stopping them from having children.

She held onto the quilts for dear life, hoping that she would stop feeling this sadness deep inside her, she couldn't blame anyone for this. Not Troy.

Life just hit Amanda hard in the face, these problems happen and as a couple Troy and Amanda have to get through them.

As Amanda cried to herself quietly, It was hours later when the sun was gone and replaced with the dark sky that matched their moods, that Amanda was able to get up and out of bed.

She had been missing a lot of days off work, but her boss understood, he knew the situation with the couple which is why he allowed Amanda a few days off when she wanted.

Amanda washed her face, allowing the water to splash over her face and replace the dryness with cold water.

She rubbed her face dry and stood up to her full height, only to meet her reflection.

The woman in front of her had sadness in her eyes, dull and lonely.

Her skin was pale, her good posture was now ruined by her constantly crying into her knees with her legs up to the face.

"You'll be okay." She whispered to her reflection, and smiled.

But she knew that smile was fake since the second she stopped, her lips dropped back to the straight line. She remember when she used to see videos of her smiling, and when's she distracted the small smile would still be on her lips slowly, ever so slowly turning back to a normal facial expression, but now Amanda didn't hold any true happiness.

Amanda felt herself start to become angry, but before she could, she quickly turned around and walked out of the room to go find Troy.

The house was dark, and she was almost certain that nobody was home until she walked into the garden, to see backdoor open and Troy sitting on the step, his head high looking into the dark sky.

"Hey." Amanda said as she sat next to him, and Troy smiled in return. It was the smile that actually held happiness, and only when it was towards Amanda.

She was the only woman that could make him feel like this.

Their hands automatically went to each other, and they held onto each other tightly, as if this was the last time they were going to hold onto each other.

Troy brought their hands closer to his mouth, and he kissed Amanda's repeatedly.

"We'll go to the doctor tomorrow to find out, okay?" Amanda knew what he was talking about and agreed by nodding her head.

She gently rested her head against Troy's head as they both looked at the dark sky, both deep in their thoughts as they held each other.

***
Short but sorry

I honestly feel sad because there are real situations like what Troy and Amanda are going through

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