Words From a Lonely Soul

Untitled Part 15

This is a message i received from a friend on September 7th, 2015 sometime at night. We will call her Joan Manis. ( inside thing)

Joan Manis - Well dad said I'm not depressed because I have nothing to be depressed about he yelled at me for two hours and got mad that I was crying and that I need to give up the hope that him and mom will get back together because "its never going to fuckin happen" I should be crying to mom about all this stuff she's the one who did this to us and I'm tired of picking up the pieces I can't wait for you to go see Mrs Janet because I'm going to go off on her because she hasn't helped with anything and I want to cut

Joan Manis -I'm just telling you 3verythibg he told me and he told me how I need to think now and so you know what that means it means that I have to make my depression go away because I do not have a reason to be depressed the only reason I have to be depressed is because my mom left but that was 11 years ago so I can't do that anymore I need to do what dad wants I'm being forced to retake my permit test because I never got my license in a year and I am being forced to drive no more not wanted to and if he sees me crying he will yell at me I need to stop crying I need to have no feelings he wants me to stop seeing the therapist he doesn't like me seeing the other doctor because both of them are not helping me I am not depressed I just want attention so I will act like everything is fine and I'll just make a bigger collection of scars now

Me - Oh my gosh he actually said that to you?!? You have every reason to be depressed. You know why? Cause we don't need a fucking reason! It just happens. And you mom leaving you! THAT IS A FUCKING REASON. MY "FATHER" WAS NEVER EVER AROUND AND I THINK THAT IT ONE REASON WHY I AM! I'm sorry! I thought dad would understand! Please don't cut!!! It only make its worse

Joan Manis -Yeah he told me all of that so honestly I don't want to take my medicine to try and make me better I don't want to get help I never wanted to get help he made me get help and now that I have gotten it it didn't give him the result he thought it would because it takes time but it didn't give him the result so I don't want to go anymore and he kinda told me to lie about being fine so that's what I'm going to do I'm going to just keep cutting and slowly die and think about death more and more and I am finally able to swallow pills kinda so it just opens up another possibility to kill myself and honestly the past two weeks I have thought about suicide more and more and it was about 12 last night everyone asleep I was tempted to take pills to leave and also cut all I did was hit myself and honestly I feel like cutting now but that's all dad told me so I don't think I will try and get help anymore because dad doesn't like that it takes a lot of time so I'm most likely going to stop but I'm fine I'm not depressed I have no reason to be depressed because I have everything and he doesn't understand that its genetic so I guess that I didn't get it from him even though he has it so I'm not depressed

Me -Honey, you are depressed. You can't kill yourself because i don't know what i would do without you. I wouldn't even know what to do with my life anymore without you in it. and as for cutting, please don't i dont want you hurting. As for getting help, hun you need help, you can't lie to her, you need to get help. i need you to get help and get better. You are my best friend and i love you, i don't want you going through life like this. pleaase dont give up! please!

Guys, it gets worse and worse everyday i speak with her. I need help, please if there is anything you guys can say that i haven't thought of please tell me. i have tried to telling her to call the hotline for suicide, she was gonna go to a mental hospital, she cuts, she IS depressed as is her father. Please help me save her life. I can't live without her! She is such a good friend and i don't wanna lose her. please please please. She lives to far away now for me to go to her or i would in a heartbeat everytime! I don't know what to do, please help!