His Son's: Sequel To Two Of Them

Class, Again

Damien's POV

The first day of school...Great. I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring off, the sound of the kettle boiling downstairs, and nothing else. Normally I would wake up to three sounds, not two. My alarm would go off, the kettle would go on, and Connor would climb down the ladder that was on the side of the bunk and, when he got low enough, he would swing onto my bunk and shake me awake. I normally hated mornings in this house but, right now, I would do anything that involved Connor. I would do anything to have him back here again. I opened my eyes and looked up. I didn't even have a bunk bed any more. I had a normal, single bed. I pushed myself up and looked over at where my desk was. It was now entirely mine...Me and Connor weren't sharing it any more. Why would we be sharing it? He was fucking dead. I got up, got dressed, and walked over to the corner of the room. I called it 'Connor's corner'. Sure, it sounded stupid and babyish, but I didn't give two shits. It was the only thing that kept Connor in my mind. It was basically all of his favourite things all in one place. It was his favourite bedsheets, the old teddy that he still slept with, a bunch of his Science, Maths, and English books, as well as a picture of him. It was the final picture that we took together. On the first day that he came home from the hospital I crawled up onto his bunk and took a quick picture with him. I wanted to take it so, in a few years time when he was down about his arm, I could show him that picture to make him remember just how lucky he was to be alive. That wasn't going to happen now...That was never going to happen. He was fucking dead! 

I burst into tears. It was my fault! Although Vita, my Dad, and even the doctors at the hospital said that Connor woke up multiple times asking where I was, I still felt like he hated me. I had no idea why. If I died and Connor didn't save me because he was shocked or scared, I wouldn't care! Yet why did I think that he would hate me for the same reason? Mike told me that I was feeling this way because I had some sort mental disorder. Yeah, right. As if. I would know if I was insane. Right now, I knew that I wasn't. I was probably what they called 'grieving'. I was upset about the brother that I lost. My little brother...He was technically my little brother, even though we were born on the same day. I think he was born two minutes after me or something like that. He had been abused since the moment he joined school. And now he was dead...He didn't have a happy life. He didn't even have a chance at happiness. He was so alone for his entire life. It wasn't fair! I got lifted up and carried over towards my bed. It was Vita. I sometimes wished that I was her. She hardly knew Connor. Heck, they never made any conversation whatsoever. She probably didn't even feel upset over any of this. I wasn't mad at her, why would I be? It wasn't her fault that Connor didn't want to talk to her! Yet...Yet I just wanted to have her mind for a while, just to see what it felt like knowing that somebody close to you had died, but not feeling any emotions. I wanted to know so desperately what that felt like! She pulled me into a hug while I cried harder. I just wanted to die along with Connor...Either that or just stay underneath my bed all day. I didn't want to go into school! My locker was next to his! Today would be filled with so many horrific memories. 

After a while of me sobbing my eyes out Vita pulled me away from her, wiped my tears away with her sleeve, and started to comb through my hair with her brush. I didn't even want to know what my hair looked like right now. I didn't know what my body looked like right now. Knowing the amount of respect that I gave my body over the last two weeks, I doubt it was good. I only showed two times, I hadn't even washed my hair, I hadn't eaten anything apart from random leftovers from Christmas that I found in the fridge, and I spent the rest of my time sobbing my eyes out while laying down next to the small memorial I made for Connor. I probably looked like crap. That wasn't going to make school any easier. Once Vita finished combing through my hair she grabbed some spray from her room and covered my entire head with it. It was either hairspray or dry shampoo. Whichever one it was, I just hoped that it made me look even slightly better. She placed the spray bottle onto the floor, grabbed my wrists, and pulled me back up to my feet again. She pulled me out of the room and down the stairs where I could see Mike and my Dad sitting at the dining table. Both of them looked...normal. It was like they didn't even remember that Connor died. I silently sat down as far away from them as possible, put my head onto the table, and tried to retain my tears. I didn't want to go to school with red eyes. That would only make the impending bullying that was about to happen to me even worse! People were bound to harass me in some sort of messed up way. I was the weakest target in the entire school. My brother was dead, I was probably insane, I cried often, and I looked like total crap. I was the human embodiment of weak.