Shower Cap or Tony quit creepin!

Damnit Clint! You are not helping!

"Jeez Stark, Creepy much?" Clint said as he walked behind the couch Tony was sitting on "I know you have cameras everywhere, but this might be taking it a bit far, even for you."

"I'm creepy? You're the one who crawls around the vents to stare at us!" Tony replied.

"Eh." he said waving it off "That's practice.  Also it's fun to freak you out." He continued with a smirk "And, I. Unlike some!" he went on "don't watch teammates shower." He leaned over his shoulder and tapped his finger against the tablet in Tony's hands which showed a still frame of None other than Steve Rogers AKA Captain America stepping out of the shower, In nothing but a towel.

The full color HD image (because Tony Stark would never allow anything 'low quality', even something as trivial as resolution, in his tower.) was a trifle damning.  Tony looked slightly embarrassed, at getting caught if nothing else.  "What this?"  He bluffed pushing Clint out of his space "I was just going through the feed, due to a...BUG! In the system! And paused when you started talking. No other reason, and Certainly NOT! to watch Steve shower, because that would be immoral and un-american, and other THINGS pepper tells me I shouldn't be!"

Tony's words halt as Steve, freshly dressed and hair still damp, wanders by on his way to the kitchen for a drink. He's wearing S.H.I.E.L.D. sweats (which Tony swears he burned! After the whole Hydra fiasco, and a three day bender.)

"Sure Tony, Sure." Clint says smirking, clearly not believing it. "Good Luck, Cap!" He says loudly giving Tony a thumbs up as Steve's head pops out of the kitchen, "with what?" he asks "Dealing with Stark, of course!" He replied patting Cap's shoulder on his way out of the room.  He couldn't wait to tell Nat! and the look on Coulsons face when he found out? Priceless! If he wasn't likely to wake up in the hospital, he'd take a camera with him! 'Hmm Blackmail Material? or my continued ability to walk? Choices, Choices, Choices.' He thought gleefully.

"What was that about?" Steve asked "Nothing!" Tony replied quickly "Absolutely nothing! Just Barton, being... Barton! Who knows what goes through his head? Well probably Natasha, because I'm pretty sure she's psychic, Besides they're the wonder twins so what one knows the other knows.  Which has to be pretty awkward during sex, if you thinkabout it And Ya know! I'm gonna shut up now! because Natasha would stab me if she found out, and Because those are NOT mental images I needed! Ugh!" Tony's babbling ended on a Shudder, of the full body variety, because Barton and Sex? Yuck! Especially since he knew Barton had a thing for Coulson of all people! And 'Oh, eww!  who knew that mental image could get worse?'

Right! Back to the panic at hand, cause Steve was staring. Only now he had this little furrow between his brows and looked pained, probably because his thoughts followed Tony's down that Dark and Icky path.  "Anyway!" Tony said forcibly pushing back those thoughts. "I just need to check a few more things on here!" He held up the tablet then pulled it back down immediately, remembering the naked Steve on it, and flipped to another image. "And I will get out of your hair!"  He hadn't entirely lied to Clint earlier, there was a glitch he had noticed. He'd just gotten a bit..err...distracted, while flipping through the feed. 

Tony lasted about a three minutes(a personal best) as Steve stared, (and stared, and Stared!) as he searched the systems. "What?" Tony asked trying for nonchalant and missing it by a mile.  Steve blinked as though coming back to himself  "Hmm? Oh! Sorry! Just...umm? Tony? He asked clearing his throat slightly. "Yes?" Tony replied distractedly he'd finally got a lead on that glitch.

"Would, uhh...would you? Liketohavedinnerwithme?"  He spat out in a jumble.  "Wha? Sorry What? I mean sure? I mean Yes! Yes I would!" Tony was caught off guard and stumbled through his answer.

"Tonight?" "Sure!"

"Good." "Good!"

"Good!" "Good."

"Great!" Natasha said coming into the room and breaking up the cycle that could have repeated all night.  Rolling her eyes at the two idiots, she walked to the front of the couch and Stared down at Tony,  who moved quickly down the sofa, and (mostly) out of range, while still staying on the couch.  (It was his couch and he would not be evicted!) He'd learned swiftly that when her shows were on? she was not above shanking someone if they didn't move from the spot she wanted.

Natasha turned on the TV, while Clint dropped down next to her, literally straight down.  'From Fricken No Where!!' Tony stared at the ceiling  'Seriously! there was Nothing! No Shelf, No Vent! How does he do that?'  "How the fuck does he do that?" Tony thought "Trade Secret! Clint replied with a wink,  making Tony realize he'd said that last bit out loud.

"Sooo" Clint began slowly "Tash and I'll be here." He pointed to the couch "Watching TV! Why don't you." Again with the pointing, this time at tony. " Get dressed! and take Steve (point!) on that date?"

Tony? Was about ready to smack that finger if it pointed at him again, Then the bastard actually made a shooing motion with his hands!  Tony made several inarticulate noises before making a rude gesture back at him.  He turned to find out Steve's reaction (he'd been awfully quiet during this) only to find him gone.

'Gone?Gone??" "Great! Just great! he probably left due to mortification!" Tony found he'd said this aloud again. When Clint (damnit) responded with "nah he went to get dressed...you know for your DATE!" He waggled his eyebrows and grinned evilly at Tony, who finally gave him a disgusted look and said "Fine, FINE! I'm going!"  Tony grabbed his tablet, glitch all but forgotten after the last few minutes of CLINT! (Grrr)  and wandered away muttering to himself about irritating archers.

After Tony was gone Clint cackled  and said "I am totally winning the pot! Now that those two have gotten off there asses!"  Natasha glanced at him "Oh? And why do you think I wouldn't disqualify you for interference? Since I know you bribed coulsons little hacker for that glitch." Her smile was sly as he went pale, at her threat he gasped "Tasha!" "You wouldn't?!" "Oh?" She smirked, "You would." He groaned sinking back onto the couch "Ok" he said sitting up again "50/50 share and I'll get dinner tonight whatever you want!" He begged giving her pleading puppy dog eyes.  Patting his cheek she said "Good boy." Then turned back to her show.

" You know of course, that Steve knew the camera was there." She said after several minutes of silence, it was a statement not a question. "Well Duh!" Clint replied "He put a Towel on IN the shower! No one does that unless you're being watched!" They grinned at each other thinking 'Poor Tony, won't know what hit him!' Then turned back to the TV and calmly waited for the mayhem of Steve letting Tony know that he's not as sweet or innocent as he thinks.

Fin~