Becoming His Woman

Chapter 11

I lay curled up in bed with my arms wrapped tightly around my stomach. Andy was at the recording studio with the boys working on their new album. I hated being alone. I hate it so fucking much. I squeezed my eyes shot and clutched my stomach tighter. "Okay little guy. I know you probably cant hear me yet, but mommy is lonely. You're all mamma has." I whispered. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "You think mommy would be use to this since she was forced to grow up with your daddy gone, but after losing your sibling, being alone is a lot harder."
​"When i married your daddy, i had no plans on starting a family. He'd always be gone and a child deserves to be with his daddy. But your daddy is a big rock star." I rubbed my tummy and slowly opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling. "Hes going to probably be on tour when you come out little guy. If they finish the album on time. i wish you daddy wouldn't go. I wish he'd stay. But mommy could never take daddy away from what he loves. And i could never take daddy away from his fans. You see, daddy just isn't a rock star, daddy is a hero." A smile played at my lips as tears continued to fall down my face. "Daddy saves lives with his music. Him and all your uncles."
​I sighed. "I'm going crazy." I mumbled to myself as i forced myself to get out of the bed and walked into the kitchen. "What are you in the mood for today little man?" I asked looking through the cabinets. I finally decided on bangles. A few minutes after i ate them, my stomach began to churn. I ran to the bathroom and threw them up.
​"Alright, so little man doesn't like bagels."​​ I huffed. I got up and washed my mouth out. then went back into the kitchen and pored myself a cup of coffee. I managed to keep it down. "Your daddy likes coffee too." I cooed at my belly. "You know he can't hear you yet, right?" I jumped at Andy's voice and looked at him. I smiled at him. "I know, but I was feeling lonely."

Andy frowned at me and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me lips. "I'm sorry I'm never here for you princess." He said after he pulled back. I shrugged and pulled at my shirt. "I'm fine." And he gave me one of the looks he'd mastered while he raised me. The look that said, 'I know your lying so don't even try it. I sighed and hugged him. I buried my face in his shirt. "I'm just scared Andrew." I mumbled, my voice muffled by his shirt.
​He rubbed my back comfortingly. "I know baby." He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer to him. "You know I'd be here more if I could." I nodded and backed away.
​"I'm going to go get dinner started."​​​​ I said and wondered off while rubbing my stomach. He COULD be here more, he just didnt want to do it. He ddint want to take a break from his band and there was no way in hell he'd quit the band. He loved the band more then he could ever love me. I have accepted that. But i dont want our child...my child to go through that. He shouldn't have to feel like his dad didnt love him enough.
​I sighed and grabbed a pan and a cutting bored. "Lets go out." Andy said.​​ I looked up and saw him sitting in the door way, a cigarette in his mouth. "I wanna make up for leaving you alone all the time." I looked at him and shook my head no. "Thank you but no thank you." I said and turned my back to him.