Monsters Inside Him

Chapter 31: Safe

"If you get up from this chair, Darlin', without finishing your food- I will spank you like a child. Do you understand me? Eat your fucking meal before I lose it."

I stared with wide eyes up at Zayn, who towered over me, his arms outstretched on either side of me, preventing escape.

"W-what?" I whispered softly.

"Do you need me to repeat myself, Darlin'?" He snapped, his face turning into a sneer. Even with such an ugly expression, Zayn still managed to look beautiful.

"I. Will. Spank. You. I will take you over my knee and lay into you if you don't eat your food." He taunted angrily. I immediately shrunk back from his threat.

"You promised." I muttered quietly. My hands trembled as I brought them up to touch Zayn's face.

"What the bloody hell are you going on about?" He caught my wrist roughly in his hand, bringing my touch away from him.

"You-you promised me that you would never lay a hand on me again. You promised... Remember, three strikes?" I clasped my other hand over his. He narrowed his eyes down at me.

"I remember, but all that bollocks went out the window you tried to leave me and move back to the States!" He shouted, pushing my hands off of him roughly and slamming his fist down. I flinched back.

"I swear to you that I will take care of you. I won't injure you, I'll keep you healthy, I'll protect you, I'll keep you happy, but I'll be damned if I let you sit there and go on a hunger strike because you're pissed at me." He snarled, pacing back and forth before me.

"Zayn, if you treat me like this- like an incapable child- I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you." I informed him, my eyes looking everywhere but at his. I heard a dark laugh escape his lips, making it hard to keep my fearful yet curious gaze downwards.

"You think I don't know that you hate me? I don't give a damn anymore! I used to want you to love me, to be with me, to be my girl, but now I just have to keep you safe and this is the only way I know how to take care of you. So I don't give three shits if you hate me- I'll get over it." He shouted loudly. I felt tears brim over from my eyes.

"You-you think I hate you? Zayn, I could never, ever hate you- no matter how hard I try. And believe me, I've tried. After that first time you took me out, I wanted to hate you. After you beat me in the alley when I tried to pull you off of Andrew, I wanted to hate you. But for some messed up reason- I couldn't." I cried out, pulling my feet up on my chair so I could bring my knees to my chest.

"And now, you know, after how we were. After how you were... I keep thinking about how well we fit together and how, despite all of this, I just want to be with you and I HATE myself for it, but I can't hate you ever. Never." He looked down at me and chewed his lip, the adorable, nervous habit he constantly displayed.

"Darlin', I need you to please eat and please let me take care of you. I need you to just listen to me. This isn't up for debate. You promised me, too." He decided finally. His voice was softer, less harsh, but still held the ring of authority to it.

"I-I won't eat, Zayn," I crossed my arms over my chest, "not until you give me freedom."

"Why won't you let me take care of you?" He muttered, kneeling in front of me so that we were eye-level.

"Because I can't let you just control everything. I can't let you just control me. I don't want to be here with you right now." I finally regained the steadiness in my voice. I still had to wipe tears with the back of my sleeve but at least I didn't sniffle or cry like I was doing before.

"You just said that-"

"I want to be with you. I did say that, but I can't be with you right NOW. I am angry with you and I want nothing more to punch you in the face." He stood up and looked amused at my honest and calm answer.