Johnson's POV
We had already done a few events and traveled to 3 places. Everybody was having such a blast but I knew I wasn't. I would call and text Sam everyday and she would always ask me how was I doing. "I'm doing good, I'm having lots of fun," I lied. I wasn't doing good. I wasn't having fun. I hated it and everybody hated me. People only cared about Gilinsky and the rest of the boys. Everything was as if I were invisible and I tried to not let it get to me but after a while it did. Before our next event, I was on Twitter. I read tweets of fans and some made me smile and some didn't. I thought to myself, how could people be so heartless and say such hurtful things? To anyone not just to me? I kept looking through tweets from fan accounts and would favourite their tweets. I loved there reactions when they realized I had favourited them. I watched someone's reaction but it didn't make me smile, it made me feel hated, not wanted, stupid.
'OMG JACK J FAVED MY TWEET' it said. 'Man I just wish it was Gilinsky since he's hotter and better.'
It didn't make me hate Jack, no I would never hate my best friend. It made me hate myself.
The event was starting, I walked out with the boys. We did our usual. When it was time for the meet and greets every girl would run to Gilinsky. I swear I felt completely invisible. Gilinsky was busy with other fans and someone came towards us, I opened my arms for a hug but she just gave me a nasty look and said she didn't come to hug me, she wanted to be with Gilinsky. He heard what she said.
"Look, I get it you're a fan of me or whatever but I will not allow you to disrespect my best friend in any way. I do not want to be around people who bring others down," he told her.
"Are you serious? I did not spend my money for this crap," she said and left.
"Thanks G," I said to Gilinsky. He smiled. I still didn't feel better. The same thing kept happening over and over. Nobody felt happy to see me, all people said were rude things and I couldn't take it anymore.
"Hey Jack, I'm gonna go get some air," I told him. He nodded.
I walked out and went to our hotel room. My breathing was getting heavy, I felt really shaky. I've never felt this way, I was scared. I was scared of myself. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I stood leaning on the bathroom sink. I looked in the mirror. I hated what I saw. I opened the cabinet next to the mirror and saw some pills. We had brought those pills just in case any of use got sick or something. I looked at myself once again in the mirror. I hate myself. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't stop shaking. I texted Sam.
"Hey Sam, I just wanted to remind you how much I love you and that you are my everything. I am so thankful and blessed to have such an amazing person like you in my life. Thank you for always being there for me and thank you for loving me. I miss you tons, my love. Never forget that you're everything to me and that I'm nothing without you. Wish you were here with me." I sent it. I could hear all the girls screaming from the ballroom downstairs. They screamed every of the boys' name except mine. Everybody was loved and favourited except for me. Everybody hated me and they told me everyday. I grabbed the bottle of pills and poured a bunch into my hand. I closed my eyes, still breathing heavily, still shaking, still crying. I couldn't stop. I swallowed all of them and laid on the bathroom floor. I felt my sleep get heavier and heavier.
YOU ARE READING
Secrets (Jack Johnson)
Fanfiction"We can't keep doing this," I whispered to Jack, giggling as he pinned me up against the wall. "Says who?" He asked, smirking at me, then crashing his lips onto mine. His hands ran up and down my back and I had my arms around his neck. He bit my lip...
