A Court of Ashes ↠ Peeta Mellark [3] ✓

12 ; Fear and Loathing

The reflection of herself stares back in the shiny metallic mirror hanging on the wall in a Capitol apartment. Shaking, chewed raw lips, sleep deprived bloodshot brown eyes, ghost pale face.

A pair of broken lungs trying to work around the pain.

Everyone is quiet around her, sleeping soundly together. Emberly stares at the mirror, bottom lip quivering as tears begin to pour down her face. Silent sobs shaking her body as she continues to stare at the mirror, wanting to see herself breaking before her eyes.

Finnick Odair, the boy who offered Emberly a sugar cube at the Quarter Quell tribute parade. Finnick Odair, the boy who thought Emberly was strong even when she thought she wasn't. Finnick Odair, the boy who just got married only a few days ago to Annie Cresta.

Finnick Odair, the boy who's dead.

The boy she couldn't save.

Just like Marvel.

"How long have you been up?" Katniss asks, voice rough as she sits up from her spot on the floor beside Gale. Her brown braid a mess on the side of her face. Katniss is moving to stand behind her; placing a gentle hand onto Emberly's shoulder with a firm but soft look in her eyes that only someone like Katniss can make.

"It's not your fault." Katniss whispers, staring into Emberly's eyes in the reflection of the mirror. The soft hazel comforting to Emberly's glossy brown eyes. "You tried to save him, he let go himself. You couldn't do anything other than be there for him. You did your job."

"I failed." Emberly whispers, voice hollow.

Katniss's eyes gloss over in sadness before she whispers. "Sometimes we all do. But someone always has it worse than us."

Emberly's face tightens in second-hand pain as she looks in the corner of the Capitol apartment they'd broken into after leaving the underground tunnels. Noah is in the corner, body shaking ruthlessly against the cold floor as he tries to get some hours of sleep. He hadn't spoken since Emberly and Peeta had entered the dark room in the underground tunnels without Finnick; it seems that he knew what happened and just wanted to be alone to grieve.

Emberly doesn't push Katniss away when Katniss wraps her arms around her waist, letting Emberly shake in her embrace until all she can do is hiccup because her lungs hurt from heaving in breaths from the soft sobs that leave her lips.

The sun comes up earlier than expected through the soft, silk blinds that cover every window of the apartment. Katniss removes herself from Emberly's space without a word besides a reassuring glance as she heads towards Gale, whom is waking up from his sleep.

Letting out a soft breath, Emberly fixes her appearance in the mirror. Brushing her fingers through the long ebony tresses on her head that cascade down past her shoulders. Sniffling, she places a firm smile on her face, pretending for a few moments it's genuine.

If she has to be strong for anyone, it's Noah. If he sees her breaking, than surely he's going to fall down the same path and Emberly can't have that happening. Not when Noah is finally getting better and trying to live his life like a normal eighteen year old.

"We should get moving." Holmes says, brushing back his red strands of hair.

Katniss wakes Noah up, gently rocking him back and forth by the shoulder before Noah is opening his eyes, revealing the innocent blue. He looks around the room for a few seconds, before his face is covered once again by overwhelming grief and he's shrugging off Katniss's hand on his shoulder.

It takes Emberly a few seconds for her to realize that Noah's doing the same thing she used to do with Marvel when she was in the first stages of grief: Denial.