Last Chance

Chapter 28: Olive Branch

I finally drag my feet up to the Hutchins's door and let myself into the house in the last dying rays of sunshine. The screen door slams with finality behind me. My shoulders are hunched, and my head is down. My eyes remain fixed on the floor beneath my feet as I listen to the silence of the house. It's not as quiet as the barn though. Murmurs come from the kitchen, and I step toward the stairs, hoping to escape notice. My weight shifts, and the first stair creaks.

The murmurs cease and suddenly Mrs. Hutchins is there, wrapping me into a shaky hug. I let her, knowing that I've probably scared them all witless by disappearing for two hours straight like I did. I've already messed up their lives enough. The least I can do is let her hug me. So I stand there, awkward and stiff in her arms.

After a moment, she moves away and kneels in front of me, her brown eyes filled with tears. "Alex, I'm sorry."

"What for?" My voice is flat despite my attempts to sound normal. I'm exhausted from crying for nearly an hour straight, and my throat hurts from it. My emotions are drained. Now, I'm just empty and devoid of everything.

"We haven't been very understanding of your point of view with all this," she murmurs, releasing me.

"No, you haven't." I shrug and turn to go up the stairs. "It's not new. People have been doing that to me since—" I stop and shake my head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does." Mr. Hutchins's deep voice reminds me of my father's for a moment, and I suck in a sharp breath, struggling to keep back the tidal wave of pain. It surges over me, sweeping away the walls I've built around my heart and bringing back all the anguish I've fought to keep out.

"No, it doesn't. Did you need anything else?" I turn back to see the two watching me. Mrs. Hutchins's eyes are filled with tears again, and Mr. Hutchins is looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"Yes, in fact. You can keep training with Mr. Hansen."

It hits me like a blow to the stomach. My calm demeanor cracks, and I clutch the railing, startled. "W-what?"

"You can keep hanging out with Mr. Hansen," Mr. Hutchins repeats. "I'm sorry for misjudging him."

"You didn't even give him a chance before siding with the cops."

"Alex... The police are the good guys. How would I know that they'd misunderstood Mr. Hansen? That doesn't happen much." Mr. Hutchins holds a hand out pleadingly.

He's right. It doesn't happen much, but it happens. Still, I need to try to understand his perspective and be grateful that he's recognizing the mistake now. "Thank you then for not shutting him out of my life." It hurts to admit that they can get rid of anyone they want to in my life. I have no control over anything anymore. It also galls me to admit how much I need to be in control of it. Ever since my parents died, I've been trying to control everything I can, and when I can't, the situation frustrates and scares me.

Mrs. Hutchins rests a hand on my arm. "Alex, we're trying. We really are. Please, just give us a chance. I know you're hurting. We weren't told much about your past, but whatever's in it, we know it's causing your pain. And it's only natural to feel out of place in a new home. But please..." Her brown eyes are full of tears as she begs me to let them in. Begs me to let them make it right.

I try to smile at her, but I can't make it real. There are no words for this. I want to tell her that I'll try. That I understand how badly she wants this and that I want to let them in. I want to tell her that I'm just not ready and sometime soon I will be. But all of that would be a lie. I don't want to let them in. I'm not ready and never will be.

She watches me, lips slightly parted and eyes wide with pleading. Her husband comes to stand behind her and hugs her from behind. The two of them watch me with hope in their eyes. I can't bring myself to hurt them though. When I first came here, I was upset enough to hurt them in every way I could. I secretly hoped that they'd send me back to the orphanage, to tell the truth. As I realized that wasn't going to happen, I just ignored them.