One-hundred sleepless nights

CHAPTER ELEVEN all this pain

*trigger warning*

My head was reeling and i paused to lean against the wall of the convenience shop before going inside. i purchased a disposable razor. The blades would be easy to get out of it. once i'd freed them i walked to an alley near the homeless shelter and crouched behind a dumpster.
"I cant be strong forever." i choked out as i started crying.
I slid one sleeve back and sliced into my skin just enough to make it sting each time the metal came in contact with it.
"All this pain..." I sighed and stuffed the blades in my pocket after rolling my sleeve back down and standing up.
I felt a little light headed by now and needed to eat more than anything so i walked down a bit and knocked on the door of the homeless shelter. 'George should be in'. i thought.
"May i help you?" A voice asked and George swung the door open.
"You again?" he frowned slightly.
"I just need a place to sleep tonight and a bite to eat." i said quickly.
A shower would probably do me some good too but i didn't want to ask for too much all at once.
"Yes go ahead dear." the old man led me down the hall.
I sat down on the bed he gave me and pulled a change of clothes out of my backpack.

After changing i sat down again and grabbed the blades from earlier.
"I wish there was some other way i could feel better." i muttered and sliced six times into each wrist. not too deep, but enough to sting.
"Excuse me?" i heard the voice of a volunteer in the hall as they shut the lights off.
"I, Uh... i'm fine." i said quietly and tucked my blades into the bottom of my backpack then took my ipod out.
No email from Mary.
'Its probably just because of school starting.' I told myself.
'Or maybe Tom found her.'
I sighed and plugged my earbuds in and charger for my ipod as i drifted off to sleep.

I was awoken the next morning as i rolled over and fell out of bed.
"Great way to start my day." i sighed and turned my ipod of then stuffed all my things back in my backpack and pulled my hoodie sleeves down over my wrists.
"Are you staying for breakfast ma'am?" a voice asked from behind me as i walked down the hall.
"Uh, yeah i am. is there a place i could shower after breakfast?"
I asked.
The volunteer nodded and showed me where the bathrooms were.
I quickly ate the little breakfast sandwich they served me then took a shower and washed my clothes then dried them with the hair dryer before leaving.

Once out on the street took a shortcut down an alley to get to the park.
I figured if i could get some money maybe i could by a better bag for my things or a sleeping bag.

Once in the park i sat down on a bench and rolled my beanie into a cup shape then made a sign from some leftover school supplies in my backpack that read; 'need money, please help.'

Lots of people walked by without even glancing at me.
Some looked down upon me as if i were scum.
Almost two hours passed, *plunk* a tall man holding the hand of a girl who must have been about five, tossed in four quarters.
Then about forty five minutes later an elderly lady tossed in a five dollar bill.
"Thank you." i said and smiled faintly as she walked off.
After waiting another fifteen minutes or so i put the money in my backpack and my beanie back on my head.
Half my day had passed and i was starting to get hungry.
So i walked along a less crowded street looking for a street vendor.
"We are created the suffering ones,
Condemned by the dying we sing out in tongues..." i started quietly singing Devil in the mirror by Black Veil Brides as i walked.

"Excuse me miss." i jumped and turned around when i felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Sorry, i just wanted to tell you that you have a lovely singing voice." a little old man said.
"Th-thank you." I stammered a little. unsure of how to take his compliment.
He reached into the pocket of his dusty old coat and handed me a dollar.
"Sir i don't need to take your money!" i said quickly and handed it back to him.
"Take it. i know a fellow homeless when i see one. if your ever in need of more money you can find me and my buddies down at the subway station. we play instruments but having somebody who can sing as well as you would be good for all of us." he said and patted my shoulder before walking away in the other direction.

After i bought a cheap meal from a vendor i sat behind a dumpster eating and thinking about what the man had offered me.
If i got money i could support myself.
Plus singing made me feel happy even if i didn't think i sounded all that good.
"I've been here a week now its time to adjust to the ways of the homeless." i chuckled and stood up again once i'd finished.
Later that evening i would go down to the train station and find the man and his friends...
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AUTHORS NOTE:
When i began this story i had planned on writing a week or so of Angie's beginning as a homeless youth and then time skip two years to just after she turned eighteen and start to pick up more of the plot there.
This is the last chapter before the time skip.
Chapter twelve will be set two years later.
I hope you guys enjoy this story and the other one i'm writing!