Avengers Preferences

Nightmares: Loki

Loki:

Loki is in the dungeons. Except it's not the one after the New York incident, it's the one after he pretended to be Odin whilst the Allfather was in the Odinsleep. Where he spent his three punishment years in the darkness, in the pain. The one you wish he'd never told you about.

  You make a slight shuddering movement and in an instant Loki is awake. He pulls himself up and looks down at you to hear you whisper, "Let him go, please..."

  The guards laugh, voices cruel. Weapons, machines of torture, the cruel grating of metal against metal. Loki is invisible to you in the darkness, but you hear him let out a sharp cry of pain which he can't hold back.

  "Y/N! Y/N, wake up!" Loki says urgently, trying to shake you awake.

  You just let out a choked cry. "Stop it, don't hurt him!" Eyes firmly closed.

  You finally reach him. His body battered, bruised, bloody, broken, his face as it turns to you unrecognizable, beyond repair. You reach out a hand and whisper, "Loki, what have they done to you? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Brush your fingertips lightly against his cheek and see the simple caress make him wince, face screwed up in agonizing pain from the injuries that you cannot count.

  But the words he utters don't make sense. "Y/N! Y/N, wake up, please!"

  "Wake up!"

  Your eyes blink open, bleary, and you see Loki's face, worried but whole. Perfect. Not a single one of the grotesque scars you see in your dreams. You hug him, pull back to take in every detail of his face, and hold him close again. "You're okay. You're okay."

  He dismisses the words, focussed on somebody who means far more to him than him. "Are you?"

  "Loki..." A thought occurs to you, and you almost don't want to hear the answer. "If everything in that thing you wrote is true-"

"I should never have written that," he broke in angrily. "Now you have nightmares all the time because of me."

"Then... How come you're not damaged? Or scarred? Or burnt?"

He looks at you, at the floor, at you. "Because this is an illusion, Y/N." He clicks his fingers. You gasp.

His entire torso is criss-crossed with scars of all shapes and sizes, his right arm slightly oddly twisted. A huge red burn mark stretches across the left of his face, and although neither of his eyes are scarred themselves, the one on the burnt side is slightly milky. You've had experiences while on missions. You know that that eye's blind.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you demand. "Why didn't you show me this?"

He'd be crying except you know for a fact that he longer has tear ducts due to a particular gas used. "Because I'd lose you, I'd disgust you, I'd horrify you." His voice implores, his damaged face pleads. "Don't leave me."

You take a deep breath, and say what you know you have to say. "I want you to walk out tomorrow without the illusion. Or I will leave you."

"I can't do that!" he exclaims. "I - I -"

"Say goodbye, then." Keeping your face blank is nigh on impossible. What if he says no? Have you gone too far? But you manage it.

He looks at you, at the floor, at you. "Alright. But why?"

You kiss his cheek, the burned one on purpose. "Because you need to learn that I love you, not what you look like. Scars like that are part of you, Loki. The point is, you survived that pain, and you deserve to show the world."

"I love you, Queenie."

"I love you too, Loki."

So he was waaaaaaaay OOC, I think. I just wanted the feels. Hope you liked it! Sheesh these are gonna be longer than I expected. So I've decided to write them separately so you ICTOANFYGs aren't bored waiting and I feel like I'm getting somewhere.