Wish You Were Here

5

Months passed by painfully slow. The wedding date was set, but I still felt unprepared to be a wife. Sure, I loved Syd with all my heart, but I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough for him, not a good enough wife. I tried to set these preposterous thoughts aside and just focus on my love for and being supportive of Syd. The thoughts lingered, but I pressed on. I needed to be there for him as the Pink Floyd was gaining in popularity. Syd was becoming quite the star. No longer only a reveled musician in the underground, he was rising and working his way to the top, and I was proud of him for that.

Still, I was very concerned for his well-being. His drug use had spiraled out of control. He went from a few harmless doobies or cigarettes to mind-numbing LSD and shrooms. He would often be in his altered state of mind. He was very amusing to watch, of course, but i wanted my Syd to talk to, just him, no drugs. But unfortunately, my wishes would not do anyone any good, only harm to me and my hopeless delusions.

---

"Syd, honey, I've got the groceries," I shouted as I entered our flat,"dinner will be ready soon. Just give me some time. Sorry I was running late..."

No reply.

"Syd?" I called out again.

I slinked over toward the bedroom and saw Syd sitting on the bed facing the wall. As I entered, he didn't turn around. "Syd...?"

Still no reply.

I came around and stood in front of him. His eyes stared blankly as if I were not even there, as if I were invisible and he was staring at the wall behind me. He had no expression on his face. The only word to describe it would be blank. He seemed cold and lifeless.

I knelt down in front of him as my lips quivered and my body trembled. I placed my hand upon his face and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. "Syd, are you in there?" My voice cracked.

Syd's eyes moved toward the ground. I let out a loud sob and wrapped my arms around him, cradling him, hoping to make him Syd again. It was the drugs. I could have stopped him. This was my fault.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. I took a moment to compose myself and then made my way over to open it up. It was David. The minute I saw him, I immediately collapsed. Fortunately, he caught me before I could hit the floor.

"Woah there, Kat. Have a little too much to drink, huh?" David chuckled, that is until he looked down and saw the tears welling up in my puffy reddened eyes. "Kat are you-"

"It's Syd," I blurted out.

David led me over to the sofa and sat me down as he went into the bedroom to investigate. He came back a few minutes later and sat next to me. Neither of us said a word. David turned toward me and stared. His eyes were full of sorrow and I could sense a very somber feeling within him.

He suddenly burst into a fit, weeping uncontrollably as he rested his head against me shoulder, tugging at the fabric from my sweater as he mumbled to himself. I tried to calm him down and rubbed my hand against his back, pulling him in for a comforting hug.

Neither one of us knew what to do, but we knew we had each other, and whatever had happened to Syd could be fixed, right?

---

The next morning, David and I were awoken by Syd playing his guitar, or at least attempting to. I guess we had fallen asleep on the sofa together, worn out by the many tears we shared. But despite the overwhelming agony of the night before, we were glad to see Syd up and about instead of sitting motionless, even though his guitar playing wasn't really "paying" per se. Just strumming and placing his fingers in random positions.

"Good morning Kat, David," Syd stated in monotone.

"Good morning," David and I replied in unison.

"I would like some breakfast," Syd announced, still randomly strumming his guitar.

"Of course, my dear. Eggs and toast?" I asked.

"Yes."

While I was prepping breakfast, Syd placed his guitar down and made his way over to David. He sat down on the floor and stared up at him. "Hello, David."

"Oh, um, hello, Syd," David stuttered.

"What brings you here so early in the morning?"

"Oh, well, Kat invited me over for breakfast."

"Isn't that sweet? My girl is just the best."

I could tell David was feeling very uncomfortable just by the sound of his voice. Thankfully, I cooked breakfast quickly enough the draw Syd away from David. I sat down across from Syd as he enjoyed his breakfast. He ate in silence as I watched. My heart ached for him. This wasn't my Syd. This was... Another person.

"That was very good, thank you," he replied as he pushed back from his chair and got up to go to his guitar again. He picked it up and began to play again, in front of the wall, his head bobbing gently.

"I really think I should get going," David whispered to me as he made his way to the door. "If you need me, please call, for his sake and yours."

"Thank you so much," I said softly as I hugged him tightly and sent him on his way.

This new event in my life is not what I need. I'm supposed to get married in a few months. Syd and I are to be a couple together, forever. He's supposed to be famous, make Pink Floyd the new Beatles. He has his whole life ahead of him, a life of music and of fame. Surely this can't be permanent, right? No, it can't be. It won't be...