Under the Mask

Withdrawl

"Daddy please stop! Don't hurt mommy anymore!"  Screams a small 7 year-old girl with shoulder length chestnut hair. Her wide green eyes fill with terror as she stares at the large blonde man with a steak knife.  A women with matching brown hair as the small girl, is discarded on the ground hyperventilating and trembling, unable to defend herself. "Daddy please! She just over cooked the hamburger a little bit! You're overeating! Please stop hitting mommy!"  The drunk man stumbled forward and slurs out, "D-d-don't you ever do anything right w-w-w-omen!" The knife starts to swing down and the small girl sprints and tries to push the women out of the way. The little girl succeeds but cries out in pain. Tears run down her face as a steak knife sticks out of her small thigh. The man stumbles to the back door and slams it. On the way out he mutters about "How useless his family is. Throwing their lives away for each other." The women finds enough strength to grab the home phone and dial 911. She grabs a few kitchen towels and presses them on the little girl wounds trying to stop the bleeding. She doesn't dare remove the blade, scared the little girl will bleed out if she does. She tries to smile at the crying girl, "It'll be okay Lilypad. He is a good man when I married him. I am sure he is still there underneath." She hugs the 7 year-old tight, "Thank you for being mommy's little warrior."

*Lillian POV*

Adrenaline wakes me up with a start.  I quickly sit up holding my aching thigh. My whole body is caked in sweat and my eyes are trying to work so fast, it makes my head spin. I clasp my left hand to my forehead, trying to get a hold of myself.

I am in my apartment alone. There is no one here that will hurt me.

I take a few deep breaths waiting for my body to calm down. After that I grab my digital clock: 6:50.

I push myself out of bed with shaky arms and try to balance myself on my sore legs. I wobble a little bit but manage.

Minus well get up. Have to leave in about an hour and half anyways.

I draw myself a warm bath and try to relax and forget about my nightmare.

As I float, I see one of the white pills I threw yesterday along with my glass.

I really do want to stop. I have tried to flush those pills countless times but couldn't quite convince myself. I felt like my life depended on them even though I feel lifeless when a drug myself up. On the flip side, when I don't take them all I feel is pain, just like now.

It is so much harder to decide which is the lesser of two evil than people may think.

I wrap myself in my liliac towel and walk over to the mirror to check out the damage. I have dark bags under my eyes, my skin is paler than normal, and my eyes are already starting to dilate.

This is only my second day and I look like shit. Joy.

I rub my temples trying to wake myself up from my three or four hours of sleep.

I briskly walk across my apartment and throw some warm clothes on. Today I will need them more than ever.

I put on a plum sweater, my black skinny jeans, tall black boots with thick white knit socks, and a peacock printed scarf that has swirls of purple, teal, green and black in it.

I gathering my things up for school only managing to force down a piece of toast.  I pull out a water bottle with an infuser in it and put some flacks for ginger I keep in the fridge, specifically for this reason, in it. Just in case I go to the bathroom and grab a bottle of Zofran and shove it in my back pack.

I grab my sapphire blue peacoat and leather gloves and head out the door.

It's a beautiful 58 degree fall day for anyone else but I am shivering from the autumn chill.