You're What?!?!

YOUR ASS IS GRASS

Hungary stomped through hotel hallways. She was pissed beyond belief at Prussia. Let's get freaky he said. It would fun he said. She pushed the up button for the elevator, which wasn't going fast enough, mind you. Which resulted in pushing the button more rapidly to the point that it was going to break off if it wasn't for a quiet voice that stopped her.

"You know, that wont make the elevator go faster." He sighed.

Hungary slowed her button-pushing to a halt. He did has a point...wait...

"Im sorry, but you look really familiar. Who are you again?"

The man sighed again. "Im Canada, I sat next to you a few meetings ago." He gave a small smile.

Just then, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. They shuffled in. The doors closed and Hungary pushed the button to go to the 5th floor. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. She looked away from him, her face turning a little red. Matthew scooted toward her a little.

"Is there something wrong, eh?" Canada asked politely, knowing if you said something wrong to her, you were in for a face full of frying pan.

"Its that stupid Prussia! I am so angry, i dont even know what to do!" She huffed. She turned to Matthew, who looked at the ground at the sound of the albino's name. His hands balled into fists.

He gave a dark chuckle. "You too, eh?" He looked up. His face now completely red from anger. Hungary was a little taken back, he had been so calm just a second ago. "So, why are you angry with him? If i may ask." He questioned while trying to become calm again. Hungary was about to answer his question when the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. There stood a some what frustrated Austria accompanied by a smiling Russia. They both walked into the elevator without a word. Hungary greeted Austria and then turned her attention to the elevator numbers. 3rd floor, great. She sighed.

This elevator ride was going so slow. The next eternity for the elevator that reached the 5th floor was silent. Canada was still a little red but looked more calm than he was a little while ago. Austria had his arms crossed and tapped his foot patiently. Russia had that creepy smile on his face that screamed 'I am going to end you, your family, and everyone and everything you have ever loved'. She looked away from him as soon as they made eye contact. The elevator finally stopped at the 5th floor and everyone took a breath. She turned to Austria.

"Mr. Austria, are you going to see Prussia too?" She asked as they exited the the cramped room. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yes." He said simply. They walked down the hallway until they found an angry Romano and Germany with a crying Italy. Romano looked like he was going to break the door down he was kicking it so hard.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, YOU BASTARDO!" He continued to kick the door. Germany joined in by pounding his fist against the door. Italy stood back at the other side of the wall and watched while wiping tears from his eyes.

"Hey! What's going on here!" Hungary yelled above the ruckus. Germany stopped for a second but Romano just kept at it.

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE!?! PRUSSIA WOULD OPEN THE STUIP DOOR!" Romano kicked at the door again. Germany sighed and stood back.

"All of you are here to see East?" He looked at the small group of countries. All of them answered in their respective languages. Germany nodded and watched as Romano kicked continued to kick the door.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, BASTARD! YOU EITHER OPEN THE SHITTY DOOR OR I KICK IT IN!" He yelled. There was no answer. "YOU ASKED FOR IT!" He kicked the door a few more times until the door hinges broke. The door fell and Romano charged inside. All of them walked inside and looked around. The room was actually pretty nice, aside from the broken door. Everything was rather white with a few accents of red here and there. The apartment was tidy aside from a pregnancy test on the coffee table....wait..WHAT!

Romano dragged Prussia out of his room and slammed him on the couch, muttering bastard and other insults at the albino. Prussia looked at all the faces around him. Some where angry, some where sad, and then there was Russia. He had the incredibly creepy smile and began making that 'kolkolkolkolkol' noise.

"YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, BASTARDO!" Romano screeched. Prussia tried to play off his nervousness like he wasn't worried at all. He failed miserably.

"What do you mean?" He choked out. That made Romano almost spring into action. He was going to strangle him if it weren't Germany, who threw him over his shoulder.

"YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!" He kicked and tried to wriggle out of Germany's grip. "EXPLAIN HOW IM FUCKING PREGNANT!" Everyone in the room was surprised. Germany's grip loosened.

"What!? But...Im pregnant." Italy said, pretty confused.

"That's impossible! Im pregnant, too!" Hungary barked, about ready to get swingy with her frying pan. The room went into uproar with everyone telling each other they were pregnant. When it the confessions were over all eyes fell upon Prussia once again.

"So is there anyone else you didn't fuck?" Canada glared daggers at him.

"Uhhhh..." Prussia was going to say something but, as if on cue, America stands by the door way.

"Hey dudes! What's this? A party!AHAHAH!" He gave his heroic smile.

Everyone looked back at the Prussian. "Really, bruder? Really?" Germany shook his head in disappointment. Germany put Romano down, finally.

"So explain to me, why shouldnt we beat you to a pulp?" Russia grinned. Gilbert sank back into the couch.

"Cause Im caring for two now..." He explained softy. The room went silent until they all said in unison

"WHAT! WHO'S THE FATHER!?" Gilberts face went red.

"Its-" He was cut off by the sound of someone tapping something against the broken door frame.

"What's up, bitches." Liechtenstein strode in, sporting a fedora, fur coat, and pimp cane. "You got my money, hoe?" She looked past everyone and stared directly at Prussia.

"Y-Yeah! Of course i do! I always do!" He gave a nervous laugh. "You didn't hear anything about what we were talking about , did you?"

"All i heard is that you own me fucking money" She sneered. "I also heard something about you being a baby-daddy to these whores."

They wanted to retaliate, but you cant fuck around with Liechtenstein. Once, she bitch slapped Switzerland so hard that he went into a coma for 3 months. She's that fucking intense. Prussia stood up and walked in front of her.

"I..uh..Im pregnant with your child..." He kneeled to her. "Im sorry..." He bowed to her. Liechtenstein hit him over the head with her pimp stick. Not hard enough to loose consciousness but enough to make crumble to the floor and give him a nasty bump on the top of his head.

"My hoes ain't supposed to get pregnant, bitch." She looked around at the countries. "Whores, get gone. I'll be talking with Prussia in private." They all left without any retaliation. Once they were all out of sight, she bent down so she was right above his head. "Your ass is grass now."

Prussia was not seen at the meeting the next day. Or the next meeting. Or the next. Or any meeting for the next 4 months.

The End

I DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS WHAT SO EVER! IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT BUT IT IN THE COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT! ALSO KNOWN AS YOUR ASS! IF THIS DOESNT GET ME A MILLION READS OR KICKED OUT OF THE HETALIA FANDOM, I WILL BE DISAPOINTED. HETALIA IS OWNED BY Hidekazu Himaruya. HAHAHAHAHHAH YOU CANT SUE ME NOW, BITCHES! IM OUT, PEACE!
P.S. LEICHTENSTIEN'S THEME SONG IS 'WHERE THE HOOD AT'

(UPDATE: HOLY JIMMYS WHAT- HOW THE- HOW THE SHIT DID THIS GET 100 READS AND 4 LIKES WHAT?!)