Hank Hill's Insatiable Bloodlust

"I'm going to kick your ass, I tell you what."

          Birds were singing. Morning dew clung to neatly cut blades of grass. Clouds elegantly moved along the sky. Cars drove by. The world was now just waking up.

          A subtle glimmer of sunlight shone through the curtains of the bedroom, leaving eccentric patterns along the carpeted floor. Hank had just now awoke. Blinking away the sleep, he slowly sat up and let out an awkward yawn. Gently throwing off the covers he slipped out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

         "Good morning, Ladybird," he solemnly spoke to his beloved bloodhound, giving her a pat on the head.

          "Woof," Ladybird replied.

          "Tell me all about it, girl," Hank responded. He strolled over to the fridge and opened it to peer at the contents inside.

          "Well, good morning."

          Hank turned around to see his wife, Peggy, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

          "Good morning, Peggy," Hank replied with a slight smile. Closing the refrigerator door he walked over to Peggy and gave her a kiss.

         "How about you let me cook breakfast again this morning," Peggy suggested, already pacing towards the stove.

          "Well, sure." Hank replied, going along with Peggy's idea. Letting Peggy cook breakfast, he turned around and walked out of the kitchen, headed to the front door. He opened it and looked outside for a moment, taking in the lovely sight of his lawn. He then bent over and picked up the newspaper. Closing the door again he made his way back to the kitchen to read.

          Hank took his seat at the kitchen table and unfolded the newspaper, beginning to read. Just then an annoying housefly began to buzz around his head. He attempted to swat it away but with no prevail.

         "Ugh!" Hank exclaimed, attempting to hit the fly with a newspaper. "This fly is almost as annoying when you and Luanne thought charcoal tasted better than propane!"

          "Well, I'm sorry, Hank, but let's not bring that up right now." Peggy replied, placing a few strips of bacon down on a skillet. As the bacon sizzled she turned to look at Hank swat at the fly. "Here, give me that," she said, somewhat annoyed with the fly and Hank's failures at killing it. She marched over to him and took the newspaper away, beginning to aimlessly hit the air.

          "Ho yeah!" she triumphantly yelled, as she managed to knock the living shit out of the fly," That's how Peggy rolls!"

           "Well, good for you, Peggy!" Hank congratulated her, slightly annoyed with her arrogant display of killing a housefly.

          Peggy continued to boast about her victorious fly killing.

          The sizzling bacon continued to sizzle.

          Hank stared at his wife, agitated.

          The sizzling bacon continued to sizzle.

          Peggy continued to gloat.

          The sizzling bacon continued to sizzle.

           "God dangit, Peggy!" Hank yelled, flipping the table," No one cares about you killing that God dang house fly! I tell you what!"

          Peggy stared at her husband in surprise," Oh, I'm sorry Hank, but you shouldn't flip the table over that!"

          "Don't talk back to me! I'm gonna kick your ass!" and with that, Hank leapt over the table and grabbed Peggy in a chokehold. Peggy gasped for air. Leading her to the stove Hank pressed her face inches away from the sizzling bacon.