Without You - A Mortal Instruments fanfic

Without You

Jace was lying on the floor of the greenhouse, staring apathetically at the ceiling as the same sentence swirled round and round in his head.

Alec is going to die. Alec is going to die. Alec is going to die.

It had been so quick, so unexpected. Jace had been looking at Clary for one moment, just one moment. The next moment, Alec's screams had echoed through the empty house.

Alec is going to die. Alec is going to die.

Why, WHY hadn't he seen the demon turn to his brother, focus on him with those large gleaming eyes, dig its claws into Alec's body? He was supposed to be the best shadowhunter alive!

Jace snorted and covered his face with his hands, noticing that his cheeks were wet. He didn't care.

Alec is going to die.

The demon had been turning away from Clary, so why had he continued to stare at her?

You love her, said a voice in his head.

To love is to destroy, his father's voice replied.

Alec is going to die.

He heard quiet footsteps on the stairs, then the greenhouse door opened.

"Jace?" It was Clary. Jace didn't reply.

"Jace," Clary whispered. She walked past the stone bench and sat lightly down next to him. He refused to look at her. That Alec was dead was his fault, his fault.

"Jace, I'm so sorry. I know how you're feeling."

At these words, he jumped up. Clary knew nothing, nothing! Alec had never liked her. And now he was dying.

Because Jace had focused on Clary instead of him.

Without another word he stormed out of the greenhouse.

When he came stomping into Alec's room, Magnus was there.

"Get out," Jace snarled. "GET OUT!"

"Okay, okay," Magnus said and stood up. "Relax."

Jace slammed the door behind him.

"Jace," Alec said weakly. Jace could hear the smile in his voice. At once, all his anger seemed to seep out of him. "Alec," he said hoarsely, and turned around.

Alec was lying in bed, his wounds covered by a blanket drawn to his chin. He was pale, and the skin stretched tight over his cheekbones, but he smiled, and his eyes glowed warmly. Jace sank onto the floor next to Alec's head as tears welled up in his eyes once more. Alec put a weak hand to his cheek.

"It's all right," he said comfortingly. "I'm fine. I'll-"

Jace shook his head. "No you're NOT!" he screamed. "You're injured, you're dying, all because - because I – because-" And he broke down.

Alec held his hand while he cried, and afterwards, when Jace breathed evenly again, he said quietly, "I'm glad you were there, you know. When it happened. There was so much pain – I'm not sure I could have handled it without you."

Jace looked at him. "I know," he whispered. "I feel the same."