I'M HIS | BOOK 1 | BOYXBOY

18: "Enano--"

"No David, I've never played it."

    "Okay, I'm inviting myself over tonight because there's no way in hell one of my friends hasn't played smash bros."

    "You're more than welcome to come over, I think my mom is making Caldo de res for dinner, I think you'll like it. Perfect for the cold." I sat up from my bed and walked towards my window. "Okay, I should get going, I'll see you tonight."

    "Bet, talk to you later." We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.

    Honestly, I was really excited for David to come over. We never really get to hang one on one other than the second period, and I honestly wanted to spend more time with him. David was really my first friend in school and helped me connect with Carolina much more. She was obviously my bestie but so was David, and we desperately needed bestie time.

    I heard my parents talking from downstairs and I wanted to go spend some time with them, but I still felt iffy about them. I love my parents but I've been having this feeling in my gut telling me they're still not telling me something. I did want to go and dig through some more boxes in the attic, but I'm worried they must've removed anything up there that related to my adoption.

    I shut my window and decided to just go spend time with them. Stepping out of my room the string that hung in the hallway tempted me. I stopped in my tracks and looked up, realizing how easy it would be to just tug on the string and have the ladder unfold in front of me. I heard laughing coming from downstairs and I really debated on whether or not I should intentionally possibly hurt myself or take their word for it and believe that they told me everything.

    I couldn't believe them.

    I pulled the string and caught the ladder before it made any noise. I didn't want them to know I was digging up in the attic again just in case I really didn't find anything. All in all, I have every right to be suspicious of them, but for some odd reason, I didn't want them knowing I was not trusting of them. I carefully unfolded the ladder, and lightly placed it down on the floor. I slowly climbed up to make sure it didn't creek. Once I got up I watched every step I took making sure that the floorboards wouldn't give me away.

    I made my way over to the boxes and quickly pulled the one that was marked photographs. I took a deep breath before opening it again, last time I did that my entire life was uprooted. The nervousness I felt and my stomach was eating away at me but the smell of the old floorboards oddly calmed me down a bit. My gut was telling me to open the box much more than my heart was telling me to protect my feelings.

    My palms were sweaty but I slowly opened the box removing the albums. I knew I didn't have to look through those, nor did I want to right now. I started shuffling through the loose papers on the bottom. Most of it was old tax papers, some forms for the house back in Cali, and our new home here. I was getting frustrated not finding anything else. There were some sale papers from us selling the house in Cali, I found a loose photo of my aunt and cousin Michael at Disney world--and that made me smile.

    I wanted to call it a bust and just leave it at that, I should've just put everything back in the box and headed downstairs. I could've sat and spent some bonding time with my parents while awaiting David's arrival. I wish I wasn't so curious because I pulled over another box and started digging through that.

    I went through a lot of boxes. I found more papers, old workout gear, random shit, Halloween, and Christmas decorations which we should put up soon. The Christmas ones, not Halloween--obviously. I found some really old notebooks from elementary school and middle school. Old projects and even more old drawings. I wasn't surprised they kept it all because I saw most of it during the move, what did surprise me was the little folded-up envelope with my name on it. It was already open since you could see the seal was broken but I still had a sickening feeling in my stomach and questioned myself if I wanted to open it or not.