Autumn Skies // A miraxus fanfiction

//Chapter 8//

Chapter 8- Music

I wasn't ready to go home, so we ditched the car and I led him to my favourite cafe. A small, rustic plant-based place called Teabags & Cinnamon that I'd found years ago. I ordered a slice of raw nutty chocolate fudge and green tea, whilst Laxus- looking slightly amused- got a piece of the gingerbread cake as I'd recommended. Whilst he was clearly doubtful when I explained what was in the cake- medjool date icing sounds kind of weird but it tastes like caramel I swear- he admitted to it's deliciousness as soon as he'd taken the first bite.
We didn't start talking until we'd both finished eating, which felt a little odd but also kind of right.
"Tell me about yourself," he instructed, and at first I didn't know what to say. But the way he'd asked it demanded the truth, and so I told him just that.
"My name is Mira-Jane Strauss and I'm a sixteen year old girl-" I began, but he interrupted me.
"And I'm a seventeen year old called Laxus. Tell me something I don't already know me- something nobody knows."
That caught me off guard. I mean, there was one thing I loved to do that came to mind- something I wasn't necessarily good at but loved anyway.
"Singing. I play guitar too. I'm not great at all really, it just makes me happy," I blushed a bit, not entirely sure why I'd blurted my passion out to him.
"Show me some time," he said with genuine interest- once again catching me off guard.
"Really, Laxus, I'm terrible."
"I'll be the judge of that."
It was weird, the way he gazes at me then. His stare was really intense as if he were trying to find something inside me that was hidden away- as though I was a shell that hid a precious pearl. What he expected to discover I was unsure, because there was certainly nothing beautiful to find in me. I was just Mira- nothing more than another bundle of atoms.
"Why're you looking at me so intently? It's kind of uncomfortable," I muttered, staring at my lap. Though I was avoiding looking at the muscular blonde I was completely aware of the fact that he was leaning over the table towards me, resting his cheek on his palm.
"You're a mystery, Mira-Jane, and I can't figure you out."

I lay in bed that night listening to Mum sobbing and Dad trying desperately to comfort her.
"My baby, my baby," she kept on whispering, and I couldn't help but want to tell her that I was her baby too and she still had two kids to look after. I wished I'd stayed with Laxus longer, but his words had flustered me and I'd quickly created a excuse to return home. Elfman had done his best to make dinner in my absense- an omelette was sat waiting after Laxus dropped me back home. I'd decided to just eat it cold with some salad, to save the effort of reheating it, and so I sat alone at the kitchen table robotically eating. Being too tired to do much else I got ready for bed and curled up on my soft mattress, and so here I lay trying to ignore the hysterics echoing through the walls. It was just so exhausting.
The constant weight of sadness pressing in on our home was a thick, dark blanket, leaving us suffocating and unable to see any light. Sometimes I'd break free for a moment but the guilt at having allowed myself to forget always dragged me back. Back to this house, back to the memories.
I thought about Laxus.
In telling him about my love for singing it had hit me that since Lisa's death I hadn't so much as touched my guitar. That realisation made me itch to play and allow myself to fade away into music.
That weekend, I wrote heartbreaking songs and cried over chords, pouring all my pent up sadness into what I did. Then on Sunday evening, Mum and I went to yoga and I tried not to think about how thin she looked as the ladies patted me on the cheek and offered words of encouragement. I think maybe they only focused on me because they didn't know what to do for Mum- telling me how sorry they were made them feel as if they were supporting our family, even if it was almost no help at all.

Monday came and Gray was back at school, ignoring Juvia although she begged him to tell her what had happened. He was staying with Laxus and his Dad for a bit- just until things settled down again, until he was ready to go home. I ate lunch with them in the FT kitchen but there wasn't the same atmosphere as there had been. Everyone kept looking at Gray when they thought he couldn't see, seeking answers that would prove their worries wrong. In way of an answer, he left pretty quickly, and left us all in heavy silence.
"Laxus, is he okay?" Lucy asked, concern written all over her face. Laxus took a few seconds too long to reply, clearly unsure wether or not to tell the others about what had happened.
"He's been kicked out again," he carefully replied, weighing each word before he spoke it.
"We know that! Please, Laxus, I can't bare not knowing what's going on with him," Juvia practically begged, and I swear there were tears in her eyes. I couldn't take seeing her like that so I told as much of the story as I could, and watched the others expressions sink. When I stopped talking we just sat in silence, and a part of me wanted to fill it but another just wanted to leave them all to process the information.
Finally Laxus spoke up.
"He's distant, Juvia, but I don't know what that means. It's like he's empty but at the same time so full of emotion."
Juvia looked down at her hands, trying to decide something, and then suddenly she was on her feet and announced that she was going to find him. I don't think any of us thought it was a good idea but we let her go all the same. Sometimes you just have to leave people to do what they must, I guess, and hope things will go better than you expect they will.
Natsu started chattering away about school work after that, just to give us something else to think about, but we were all hugely grateful when the school bell rang. Me and Luce went one way, the boys another, and I spent the two hours of lessons picking vaguely at my fingernails and wishing there weren't so many problems in the world.