Newt x (suicidal) Reader imagine

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Requested by - Kahlerkid

WARNING: this imagine may be triggering, it will involve suicide and depression. If you're going through depression, suicidal thoughts, or simply a rough time right now, remember there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking help. You're going to be okay, you're beautiful, and you're worth a lot, and many people love you.

I was the only girl in the Glade, among tons of boys. This meant that yes, there was going to be some sexism going around. Lots of abuse, underestimation and full on bullying from quite a few of the other Gladers. I hadn't been particularly happy since I first arrived at the Glade, but who would when they were the only one of their gender and overall hated their life? I only had a couple of people that I actually cared about, them being Newt and Thomas. They knew that I wasn't the brightest person, and they always tried their best to keep me happy, even if that meant taking me with them when they went to work in various places and so on.
          One guy in particular that I wasn't so fond of was Gally, he constantly insulted me, made me feel like absolute crap all the time, yet seemed to have people that liked him and found him funny? He bullied others as well, but mainly just me and Thomas. We'd occasionally laugh about what we'd do to Gally if we got the chance, one time Thomas said that he wanted to push Gally through the maze walls as they closed, I actually thought he was being serious for a moment, you know - Thomas being Thomas and all that.
        Even becoming a runner hadn't stopped me from feeling the way I did. No matter what, I always felt rejected and isolated. It was like I was on a different planet sometimes, no matter how hard I tried to fit in, I couldn't. It made me feel worthless, all I wanted was to leave, but that quite obviously couldn't happen.
          I was running in the Maze, my right hand scraping across the maze wall like sandpaper as I ran behind Minho. The sun felt particularly hot today, I was certain it was going to burn me, and the sweat dripped from my forehead like a waterfall; just that thought made me queasy. I was feeling incredibly uneasy that day, all I wanted to do was sit down and think, however life just wasn't that simple anymore.
       "You okay (y/n)?" Minho panted, turning his head making the left side of his face more obvious. I snapped out of my thoughts quickly and remembered I was supposed to be keeping track of this route.
        "Yeah yeah, I'm.. Good." I sighed, wiping my face with my left hand whilst trying to keep track of the surroundings. That was until we both reached a dead end.
         "Shit." Minho murmured, coming to a halt and placing his hands on his hips in frustration. "I felt like we were going the wrong way..."
         "Let's just take a break, there's something I want to check out" I sighed, nodding at Minho as I wondered over to a huge mountain like piece of rubble, I began to wonder how long the drop would be.

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Nyaaa I'm so sorry this took such a long time Kahlerkid! It wasn't supposed to take this long but I've had a ton of coursework to complete and haven't really had the chance to add to it. So I'm sorry it's quite short, and I'm sorry Newt isn't in it yet, it's building up gradually and may take 3-4 parts to complete.

Also! I finally saw Scorch Trials at a cinema today and it was so epic omfg I can't even. Even though in a way it wasn't that accurate to the book in some parts, I think they did a really good job and I will admit I cried a lot. This movie made me really appreciate Aris, like come on. He was so kawaii in the movie. So I've decided I'll be writing an Aris x reader imagine soon, I might even include him in some scorch trial related preferences.

Anyways, I hope this was okay!
~ Lily c:

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