REGRETS AND AIRPORTS| CHAPTER 41

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The next day was a complete haze of paper work and really nothing happened that was of any excitement. I ended up waking up really early and feeling sooo tired but not able to quite get back to sleep so I got up and went into the studio early. I ran on caffeine all day and worked flat out so I could go back to England and chill for a week before returning back to normal life and work with the boys and Rae. The paper work was massive and I didn't realize how much needed to be read and signed and sorted. I had kinda forgotten about it until I was ready to leave and I still needed to pack. My flight was at 12:30PM and I was more than ready to leave. There's nothing quite like being in your home country and your own bed even though the hotel was fucking massive. I only had today to do the paperwork because the studio wouldn't be open tomorrow. I also had a few things to do tomorrow like go for a quick shop and pick up a few things.
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The next day
I caught a taxi to the central shopping centre and decided I needed to pick up a few things before tomorrow's flight. I walked in and it was massive. Honestly it was so overwhelming compared to England. First place I headed was sephora. Yes I was being a basic white bitch but I wanted something to wear on the plane and not look dead.
I finished up pretty quickly with some stuff for me and Rae.

Next stop was for some weird reason Victoria's Secret. I looked around a little and picked up some bras. I walked into the sexier stuff and saw a black piece and thought about how crazy this would drive Brad. But as soon as the thought was there I felt sick knowing I had cheated on him yet I was still thinking about him. God I hated myself. I ended up buying it out of guilt but I'm not sure if it'll ever see the light of day.

I bought some other bits and bobs for the boys and got myself a new curling wand.

After my shopping adventures I went in and had my hair done. I had my extensions taken out and put back in and had a little bit of blonde put in as well as had the hair thinned. This took up a massive portion of my day and I was really glad that I had something to fill my time with items that needed doing. I'm not good at just sitting around. I really needed something to do...

The hair appointment took forever but I liked it. Brad and I texted back and forth talking about his show today at T in the Park and how well he's going and how he can't wait for me to come back. If only he knew how much I'd fucked up. Fuck me.

Once the appointment was done I made my way back to the hotel where I continued to pack. The boys came in and out to visit and talk to me... including Luke.

"Hey." He greeted me as he walked in. It was like they had all taken turns to come in and talk to me. It was just general conversation but it was weird. There was always five minutes between each visit and Luke was last to come in with his head down.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, facing me. I was sitting on the floor, sorting out all my shit in my suitcase. I hadn't bought too much whilst I was here so everything seemed to fit in alright.

"Hi." I said bluntly not even looking up at him properly. I watched him out if the corner of my eye as I pretended to be extremely busy playing with my suitcase.

"Look it wasn't me who touched you when we went into the group hug. I did tell Jai but I had to get it off my chest. He thought it would be hilarious if he touched you're butt and make it look like it was me because he already knew you were angry with me. He's trying to get us angry."

"Yeah well it worked didn't it?" I'm not gonna lie I'm still really salty about what happened yesterday and the night before. You can't just do this to someone but I also know that the way I've acted isn't ok. The problem is that it comes down to us. We both took part. I didn't say no and he initiated it. So we're both equally at fault. And that's what makes me feel the most sick about this situation...

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