The Hunger Games: Continued

Sleepy Whispers

Katniss' POV
I rock back and forward on the carpeted floor beneath me, biting my lip. I taste blood, but at least it's my own. I sit by his bed, staring at his sprawled out body as he trembles in sleep. It's the middle of the night, I've been here for two hours at least and I still haven't told Peeta what I came here to. I may be here after dawn before I do.

So this is what he looks like when he's sleeping, I think. He trembles slightly, not dramatically like when he sometimes has seizures, but shivering like he's cold. "My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realise you're here."  His words rattle through my brain, I'm sure they wouldn't apply now. That if he were to awake to the sight of me, he would feel anything but relief. I am probably the person that provoked the nightmare he is having now.

I think about our last kiss, I think about how I left him in the clock arena, I think about his steady arms wrapped around me on those nights on the train. I think about the last time I could truly save him and how I probably never will again. I think about how the kisses in the last arena felt, how they never satisfied me, they left me craving more, but I may never have more.

Every kiss he gave spiralled into an airborne knife that pierced my heart so heavily that any confessions could only ever egress as nausea.

I gather every ounce of courage I have remaining. I edge closer to his bed, so my lips are by his ear. "Peeta," I begin. I shall tell him while he sleeps, I hope that somehow my words will reach him. "I need to tell you something," he stops trembling slightly, I hope he's listening, but at the same time I hope he doesn't fully awake. "Kind people have away of rooting themselves inside of me and staying there. You did that the instant you threw me that bread. Since then, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind..." I fumble for more words, not as smooth with them as Peeta once was. "So when we went into the games, I just knew that I had to save you. That if I let you die, I'd never be able to forgive myself." I feel like leaving it there, running away from his bedside and sprinting back home, but I still haven't reached the point I came to make. "Those kisses in the last arena, they made me feel something stir deep inside of me, they made me want another." I swallow hard, trying to wrap my tongue around the words I struggle so much to say. "I liked kissing you," I finally explain. "And now I'm scared. I'm scared because the Capitol has taken you away from me and I can't seem to get you back!" And that's when my voice breaks. "What hurts more is the traces of the man they left behind. Just to taunt me with what could have been mine." Tears flow and I sprint for the door.

I run out of his front door, closing it firmly behind me. The cold air laps at my face, whipping my nightgown around as I run back down to my house, tears stinging my eyes as I go. I fly into my house, and slam the door behind me. Part of me hopes that Peeta heard my words, but another is too terrified to face that he did. I plod upstairs to my bedroom and find myself staring out of the window. I can see Peeta's bedroom window from mine, his curtains are closed, but a warm light has lit up the room behind them. He must be awake. I see him now, his silhouette walking around, running his fingers in his blonde hair, his hands over his face. I'm sure I can see the muscles in his back shifting even in the shadow of him. Maybe he heard. And maybe I've confused him even more.

I climb under my duvet and will myself to sleep. Darkness pulls me under, drowning me in a traumatic nightmare, stirring me in to hysteria, with no arms to hold me when I wake.

Peeta's POV
Katniss was here last night, Real or not real?
It seemed real. But so do the nightmares that consume my mind in sleep. Everything she said, it is everything I've ever wanted to hear. It must have been a dream, Katniss would never utter words that hold such an emotion.
A dream... But I swear I could feel her breath tickling my ear when she spoke.