Would you call me crazy if I told you that I had romantic feelings toward my best friend? Would you call me weird if my best friend was a girl, and I was totally, completely and utterly in love with her from head to toe? Would you call me a disgrace if I told you I was gay and like girls?
These were just some of the thoughts that would always fill up my head every time, someone would bring up gay rights, Camren and even love.
Yes- you did hear it right. No- I'm not making things up.
Love is not a choice.
I love her, and there's no denying it. I'm falling for her more each and everyday that goes by, and there's nothing in the world that you can possibly do to stop me from ever loving her. Nothing.
But I'm scared on telling her. The pros and cons run through my head. Pro: she AT LEAST feels something toward me. Con: she doesn't feel a thing. Or worse! She hates the whole LGBTQ+ community.
See this is the problem. I'm not sure how she'll react towards it, or what she'll say.
I've even prepared myself for rejection! Can you believe that! Rejection!
I know she's been going through a lot recently. And me going up to her, and confessing my feelings, my love toward her, now that would be too much for her. I was told never to overwhelm a girl's heart and head or even break it. Because a girl's heart is worth more than the money you'll ever have. And with what dorit- I mean Austin did to her. That honestly made me sick to my stomach. Not just that, but after the breakup he went on saying, "I'm happy that Becky G is my first real relationship," (which happens to be complete bullshit). From that day on I stopped talking to him. Just like that.
The problem that I don't understand is how could someone do something so- so- (I can't even find the words for it). how can someone hurt such an innocent, beautiful and wonderful person? How can they?
On that day. On November Fifth. He broke up with Camila and just left her like that. Not caring if she was left in a state of depression or denial. I just wanted to punch the shit out of him.. I wanted to make him physically feel how Camila felt. I wanted him to feel her pain, her suffer and her anger.
But then it came to me..
What would Camila say then? After I did this.
What would she have said? What would have she done?
That's what made me stop from doing what I was going to do.
But the thing was that she made me stop. I have no idea what she does to me. But I feel so happy, so calm, so peaceful whenever I'm around her
Is it good or is it bad?
But whatever this emotion is, I'm thankful she came into my life. Without her, I'd probably be out smoking herd and drinking liquid. But also,
I was like a candle without a light.
And this was one of my many reasons why I fell her.
Hope one day she'll understand what I feel for her.
Just maybe, one day.
One day.
I took out my ear phones from my pocket and put them on. Blasting my music to a metal group I recently discovered. Dead by April. [A/N sorry I just had too. You guys should listen to them. If you want. Anyway.] How can a metal band, make such great music? But then again, a song is just a story held by a beat.
The music made me feel alive. Made feel all the things that I would feel around Camz. And then it hit me.
Music makes us fall in love even more.
