When You Say Nothing At All

Chapter 7

Peeta and I walk in silence towards the beach. Although I know he'd never admit it, I heard him crying last night. I wish I could let him know how much it kills me to have to leave. That if there was any other way, I would never leave his side. But this is just how it has to be.

"I'm going to miss you," I say looking down. "I would never do this to hurt you."

"I know," he says, not even looking at me.

"Peeta, can you at least look at me?" I ask.

"I can't," he says. "I can't act like I'm okay with this. You're leaving me. Twist it anyway you want, but you are Kat."

"You think I want to?" I ask. "I have to Peeta. I don't really have a choice."

"You always have a choice," he says. "And I thought after you finally married me, that your choice was to stay here, not wander back to the sea after three weeks. Is it because I asked you about children? What is it that makes you want to leave?"

"I don't want to leave!" I say. "I never wanted to leave. I have to because if I don't, my father and my sisters will either be injured or killed. This war is my fault Peeta. Everything that happens is my fault. I need to do this. I love you with all my heart, but I just, I can't let them die. I already let him down once. I can't do that to my father again." I look at him and he nods.

"It's hard," he says. "I'm never gonna give up on you coming home, but what if you don't? What if Triton changes his mind?"

"He won't," I say. "I'll be home as soon as I can." I say. I walk up to him and cup his cheeks, smiling sadly at him. "And when I do, we will talk about starting our family."

"Don't tease me Baby," he says making me laugh.

"I'm serious," I say. "When I get home, I'm going to have your baby. That is if you still want a baby." Peeta smiles at me and wraps his arms tightly around me.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he says.

"I'm going to miss you too," I whisper, fighting back tears. I hear the faintest bugle of a conch shell. I look up to see my father's chariot rising to the surface, pulled by his twin hippocampi or fish horses. I see him sitting aboard the basket of the chariot as he beaches it. He smiles at me and I start walking towards him. Peeta holds my hand and I look back at him as I slip from his grasp. He mouths 'I love you' and I say it back. He nods and lets me go to my father. As I come up to him, he hugs me tightly.

"I've missed you child," he says.

"I've missed you too Papa," I say.

"So you've made your decision?" he asks.

"I need to come home," I say. "but this can only be temporary."

"We will see," he says and I shake my head.

"No," I say. "I won't go with you until you promise me I can come back here, to my husband. I'm not going to abandon him and let him go mad. I love him too much to do that."

"I promise that when this is all over," he says. "You will be released to your true home, whatever you choose." Since right now, I'm sure that this is the best I'm going to get and I nod to my father. Almost instantly, I feel my legs fuse back into my tail and my clothing melt away into sea foam, leaving me in the clam shell bikini top I washed ashore in. I look back at Peeta and we smile sadly at each other. I look at my father and he nods for me to go to him before leaving. I climb up onto one of the rocks and Peeta runs to me.

"You should be going with him," he says.

"And leave without saying goodbye?" I ask. I pull him into a kiss and I feel his arms wrap around my waist.

"I love you," he says and I see tears in his eyes.

"I love you too," I say and give him one last kiss before hurling myself from the rock into the water. I give him one last glance over my shoulder before submerging and making the long journey to my father's kingdom. When I get just outside the walls, a large, brightly colored flounder swims up to me. He circles me shouting excitedly.

"Katniss," Finnick says smiling. "You're back! You're home!"

"Finnick!" I say hugging him. "I've missed you buddy!"

"I can't believe you came back," he says and then he stares at me. "You said you'd never come back."

"I had to," I say. "For my family, I had to."

"I've missed you," he says. "We all have."

"I know," I say. "And I'd love to talk to you sometime, but right now, I really need to speak with my father." He nods and I leave him heading towards my father's castle. When I get there I'm greeted by my betrothed, Gale.

"Katniss!" he says pulling me into a hug I struggle to fend off. "I've been so worried."

"Gale," I say trying to push him off. "Gale, let go of me!"

"What's wrong darling?" he asks as he releases me.

"I'm not yours," I say. "Don't you understand that?"

"I asked your father for your hand almost two years ago," he says. "I'm pretty sure that makes you mine."

"I'm married Gale," I say. "To a wonderful man who loves me for me, not for my crown. So no, that little deal you and my father no longer matters." I swim away from him, not waiting for a response and go to my father's main room. I stand before him with my head bowed.

"What do you need Katniss?" he asks. "Thanks to the trouble you've caused, I'm quite busy."

"Gale still thinks we're betrothed Father," I say. "And since I came home, I want to know exactly how bad things are down here and how exactly you want me to help."

"No one knows that you went to the surface," he says. "No one but you, me, Finnick, and the sea witch. So yes, you are still betrothed and will be married within the week."

"No!" I say. "I'm married and we are going to have a family together. I love Peeta and while I came home to help you, I'm going back up to Peeta as soon as this war is over. One way or another."

"We will see," he says and I shake me head.

"Don't say that Father," I cry. "I love him. For all I know, I could be carrying his baby right now and I want to go back to him."

"I'm sorry," he says. "But the only way this war will end is for you to stay here and move on. If we ever destroy the Sea Witch, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you back to that boy. But until that happens, you have to pretend that everything is normal. That you love Gale and this is where your heart lies."

"But someday, I can go home," I say. "To my true home?"

"Yes," he says. "Your real home on the land." he wraps his arm around me and we both stare out the window, where you can see the bright outline of the sun through the water. "Someday my child, I will let you go home."