This Love

.. three ..

My phone buzzes for the fifth time today, the screen lighting up with his name. I reject the call, yet again. I look back up at Selena as she smiles sympathetically. 

"Still calling?" She asks and I nod pathetically. "Do you think if you hadn't of kissed him, that..."

"I get it, I screwed up," I say, shaking my head. "I just don't know what came over me, I was watching him walk out the door and the next we were... We were kissing."

"I get it, Tay," she reassures. "You've told me a million times that you didn't plan on it happening. But it did. So what are you going to do? Leave the poor boy hanging?"

I stare at the pattern atop of my Maple Latte and let out a long sigh. "I don't want to end up wrapped around his finger again," I say, shrugging slightly. "If I give him what he wants now and call him back, what will happen later? I won't be able to stand up for myself and I'll cave every time."

"I know that's what you think, but what if you guys are meant to be together?" I look at her with bewilderment. "I know it sounds crazy, but you two are both still in love with each other, so why not give it another shot?" 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because he's too late? Because he thinks that he can get anything he wants just by asking for it? Because he's selfish? And demanding?" I say, anger flowing through my words as they leave my lips. Selena sighs.

"Maybe he's changed."

"Why are you so keen on us getting back together? We are never getting back together, I don't want to go through that pain ever again," I say, sipping my latte to occupy myself from looking at her. How could she want this?

"Harry is a nice, sweet guy... He's happy when he's with you and he cares about you. He's the only guy that I actually liked seeing you with... You two are so good together it almost hurts. What's so bad about trying again, hey? There's no harm in giving him a second chance..."

"There is harm if it ends badly, if he hurts me again like he did that night."

"You need to learn to let go, Tay," she says and my jaw drops. She sighs. "I mean that in the nicest possible way. Yes, he made a mistake... Breaking up with you in front of all of our friends, after you spent all day setting up the party for him, and the fact that he never came back. I know it's a shock for him to come back after two years of not seeing you, but he's realized his mistake. Maybe if you just let it go, you can finally move on."

"Going back to him isn't moving on, it's falling right back into that cycle of hurt," I sigh, tracing the rim of the Starbucks mug with my finger. "I want to move on, not go back to him."

Selena smiles sympathetically at me as she places her hand atop my own. "Then call him and tell him that. He won't stop calling, so you might as well tell him that you're standing your ground."

I look into her brown eyes and slowly blink, before nodding. "Fine, I'll talk to him," she smiles. "But only  to tell him that I want nothing to do with him and that that kiss meant nothing."

"Alright, as long as you don't leave him hanging for too long."

. . .

I dance around the kitchen as I wait for the cookies to bake. My music plays from my phone, my bare feet move quickly across the hardwood floor and the oven is slowly warming up the room with its temperature. The oven dings and I smile as I grab the oven mit, removing the perfectly baked cookies from the oven and placing the tray on the stove top to cool them down. 

My music stops suddenly and its replaced by my ringtone. I freeze immediately as it sounds through the kitchen. I remove the oven mit and walk over to my phone, checking the name on the screen. I sigh before answering.

"Harry, you need to stop calling, I don't want..."

"Why did you kiss me?" He cuts me off instantly and my eyes widen. I walk around the centre block of the kitchen and sit on one of the stools. 

"It meant nothing," I lie, leaning my chin in my free hand. "You need to stop calling, Harry... I'm trying to move on here and you're not making it any easier."

"Kissing me doesn't look like moving on, Taylor," he says and I can just imagine the mocking smirk on his lips. 

"Can you stop being cocky for one minute?" I snap at him. "That kiss was never meant to happen, okay? I don't want to see you or speak to you again, Harry... You had your chance, you missed it. Now let me move on."

I lock my phone, instantly hanging up on him and let out a long sigh. There, I spoke to him... Didn't leave him hanging any longer. I roll my eyes as I relive the conversation, how cocky he was being. 

I stand up and walk back to where I placed the cookies, transferring them from the tray to the cooling rack before they stick. I'm interrupted by my ringtone, yet again. I let out an agitated sigh and snatch my phone up from the bench and glaring when I see his name.

"Can't you take a hint?" I say as I answer and I hear his chuckle.

"I can," he says, mockery clear in his voice. "I think it's you that can't take the hint."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, bewildered at his arrogance. 

"You still love me, just admit it."

I scoff. "I wouldn't go back to you if we were the last two people on Earth," I hang up on him, yet again, feeling angry. How could he think that I still love him? I don't, I don't love him, I... 

Okay, so I do love him. But I can't let him know that when I'm trying to move on, can I? I shake my head and transfer the remainder of the cookies to the cooling rack before venturing to the living room. I plonk down on the sofa and unlock my phone, scrolling through my contacts. 

I hover over Selena's name, wanting to tell her that I fulfilled her wish. She'd be happy to know that I stood my ground, that I'm trying to move on from Harry, even though she wants us to get back together for some god forsaken reason. But the longer I stare at her name, the more I realize that I don't really want to speak about what just happened. 

I scroll back up through my contacts when a name catches my attention. Calvin Harris. I smirk before dialling his number, bringing the phone to my ear. I count the rings. 

One... Two...

"Hello?" He answers and I smile widely, biting my lip slightly.

"Calvin? It's Taylor, how are you?" I ask, genuinely interested. 

"Oh, Taylor," he says. "Didn't expect to hear from you. I'm good, how are you?"

"Just peachy," I say through my teeth. "Say, are you free tomorrow night?"

"Uh, I have a party to go to, but if you want, you can come?" He asks and I smile wider.

"Pick me up at six?" I ask and I hear his chuckle.

"Sure thing, see you then," he says, hinting that he wants to end the phone call. I giggle slightly.

"It's a date."