always ♡ ziall au (gotg #2) [COMPLETE]

undici

sunlight splintering over his face woke niall up the next morning, and he blinked, squinting.

"whaa?" he grunted, throwing an arm over his face.

"sorry," zayn's voice responded. "i didn't mean to wake you, i just thought you'd need some sunlight." niall didn't say anything. he didn't know what to say. "i'm sorry, niall."

"i know," niall said softly, still groggy. 

"you probably don't want me anywhere near you," zayn continued. "but, please, please just let me hold you."

so niall laid back down, and zayn curled up behind him, an arm around his waist. zayn kept pressing little kisses to the back of niall's neck and shoulder, and a tear trickled down niall's face and the end of his nose. all he could think about was that he probably held her like this, was probably so gentle with her. he probably watched the way her eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she slept, the soft way her chest rose and fell with every breath.

at that thought, a sob burst forth from niall, and then he was crying again, doubled over in zayn's arms.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry," zayn cried, reigning him in, cradling niall against his chest. "i can't imagine how you must feel. i love you so much, i don't deserve to be anywhere near you. i'm so sorry." niall realized zayn was crying, too, his larger frame shuddering around niall's as he wept. "i wanted to trust my mother so bad, it's all my fault." he pushed niall away then. "i don't deserve to touch you!"

"zayn," niall said softly. when he reached for him, zayn leaned out of his reach. "damn it, zayn," niall snapped, angry now. he reached for his soulmate's face, cupped his cheeks in his palms. "you don't get to do this! you don't get to push me away, not after what you've done!"

zayn's eyes were fire. "this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't strolled into the underworld begging hades to capture you!"

"i was trying to protect you!"

"you were trying to prove something!" they both glared at each other. niall wasn't sure when he'd snapped, but one second he was glaring at zayn, and the next he was kissing him furiously. he let out a whine when zayn bit his lower lip, and his hands tightened in zayn's shirt before he pulled it off. "they say angry sex is hot," zayn murmured against niall's lips. his smile made niall's lips curve into one of his own, and before long he was lost, lost in this new sea and sand and tide that was zayn.

he familiarized himself with different parts of him, touching gently at the base of zayn's ribcage, his muscular back, the smooth skin of his collar bone. zayn was everywhere, all over and in and on niall. everything was warm, pale gold, and niall clung to zayn as if he was going to lose him.

"i love you," zayn whispered when they were done. his breath brushed over niall's shoulder, where he was curled up against him. "you saved me."

"'love saves us only if we want to be saved,'" niall whispered back, quoting bell hooks. 

zayn's lips quirked up. "niall," he said, "i've just thought of something."

"mmm?"

"a quote." his voice was so soft. "by e e cummings." he waited for niall's nod before he continued. "'and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you."

niall's nose scrunched up when he smiled. zayn kissed it, like he'd always wanted to. "i love you, too."

- - -

when niall and zayn left niall's bedroom, the grand hall of the castle was empty save the king, who was sitting on his throne, drinking wine from a goblet.

"where is everyone?" niall called.