Two Eyes Down: Nearsighted

Starting Over

  No matter how much I begged, Demi absolutely refused to leave the hospital room and get some sleep in her plush hotel room. Everyone but her came and went, she just sat there and held my hand while watching me watch everything as if it would turn black if I stopped.
  I was discharged from the hospital the next morning. It took some time of course, with all the machines and paperwork, but I got out nonetheless, and with Demi by my side. I think that's how we both wanted it, us holding hands and walking out of the hospital triumphantly.
  I expected confusion, I didn't estimate it's degree right at all. I confused the simplest things. I knew certain The pen Demi was doing the paperwork with I had called a pencil three times before it got through my head. When I was little, I didn't think all buildings had doors until my dad explained there are automatic doors. If I couldn't feel it, it was as if it were never there.
  When I was led into a small room with circular buttons with symbols all over the sides of the front wall, I was understanding of Aiden's claustrophobia. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. They actually closed to some degree when the open doorway was closed off by metal slabs shutting the hallway we came from out of our eyesight. I clung to Demi for reassurance, she just looked at me and smiled with a twinkle in her eye. I had to close my eyes and feel the floors hum while my stomach starting to fall to know for sure it was just an elevator.
  "Demi," I asked quietly.
  "Yeah?"
  "What are those symbols on the buttons?"
  "They're numbers," she states looking at me in the eyes and rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand. I must have looked intimidated, because she adds on," don't worry, you'll get the hang of it".
  The door opens and my petite girlfriend guides me through another set of doors into a whole new world. We stand on a platform overlooking a sea of cars. I have never seen a car, but certain things I can verify on my own. The sky really took my interest. Its a void similar to what I looked at endlessly my entire life, only lighter with a single wisp speeding along and a bright ball of fire that burns my eyes, an experience I have never known before. I know the sky is blue on most days, it's common knowledge, but I have never actually known what exactly blue is. Colors are not physical and are virtually indescribable. I walked slowly, taking in as much as I could. Grass-green. Demi's eyes-brown. my shirt-white. pavement-grey.
  I was held back by a hand tugging my arm gently. "Babe, this is my car. Get in unless you want to stay here rather than going home", Demi smiles. I get in the passenger side of the black car with tinted windows. Demi could afford much more, but this probably helped with privacy. "So what are you going to do with your new found ability"?
  "Become a superhero", I say intensely. I know it's ridiculous and technically impossible. But I feel like I could be someone like Superman or Batman. I have something I didn't before, so it's special to me.
  "Hmm", she hums, giggling. "How bout you work up to that"?
  "Are you working up to something"? I ask, my lips curling upward.
  " I would like to take you on your first date you can see at", Demi announces confidently,"this Saturday".
  "I'm not sure what you are planning, Miss Lovato, but I accept".
  We smile at each other and she looks back at the road and me until she comes to a gradual halt. Confused, I look to Demi quizzically. "Red light", she explains. I look up and sure enough there is a box with a glowing light hanging on a wire across the with of the street.
  "That's a red light", I note more to myself than her. She nods anyway, smiling and leaning over the space between us to kiss my cheek. Then we lurch forward in acceleration when the light changes and Demi grips the steering wheel. The light may be green, but on my face it was totally red.
  A few minutes later, we stop at a house on a long long road with two driveways. We park in the one to the right of the house, the left being occupied by a bum medium sized car. Jenny must be home.
  I unbuckle my seatbelt and reach for the door handle, but Demi has it open from the other side before I even tap it. I get out, looking at her shyly. I'm not shy to Demi, but this is the first time I am seeing her, and she's gorgeous. Her presence in front of me alone makes it feel like she's a whole new person in a way.
  The second she has the door shut I'm pressed against it, sandwiched between the black car and Demi's nimble fingers attached to my hips. She's close enough for me to smell her minty breath as it hits my neck and crawls up my skin, leaving goosebumps as its' hot legs prickle my skin up to my nose. Demi's eyes are closed, but I don't need any form of vision to read either of our emotions and feelings. I know what I feel and what I want to do to change them. I feel like I'm slowly suffocating and will soon pass out from lack of oxygen. I feel tears stinging my eyes in fear of being hurt by my own girlfriend. I want to change this, but I can't. I'm paralyzed to my defensive/shocked position of my palm on the cool metal car and keeping as much space between me and the ever nearing stranger as I can. It doesn't stop, her lips are on my skin in an instant where I'm sensitive, but it isn't sweet, it's sensual. It's scary.
  "D-Demi", I whimper, more for mercy than anything else.
  "Yes"? Her eyes flutter open to show a brown seemingly denser than before.
  " Please back away from me". I feel myself sweating in anxiety and heat from the sun. I hadn't noticed until now that I was hyperventilating and a voice in the back of my head continuously heaved the word 'air'. Invisible walls that I can't see are closing in on me and me alone, starring at me blankly as its nails jab my sides and its' teeth brush my skin. I don't see them, I feel them. Heavy breathes, sexual excitement, thick air, and then it's gone. Backing away three large steps as it all floods away and the dark eyes shine light again. This light is different than earlier though, this light is dim and blue.
  "Fuck! Natalie I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me. I just-"
  "Demi, it's okay. Hormones, not you"
  "But it is me! the hormones are in me", she says through a ball in her throat, only giving her the tiniest bit of room to speak. Tears make their way to her eyes until one replaces another and forces it down her reddening cheeks. It's a small thing, but it gives me a glimpse into a past she rarely speaks of. The hauntings of memories full of the need to defend herself by hurting herself. It's always her. Never anyone else. This scene shows me too. After all we've been through, after all we've done, this shows it's been wiped clean like an etcha-sketch. I'm afraid again. All I got from when I was semi-alright with it are the memories without the feeling. We're starting over.
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I'm back yaaaaass!!!!!
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Lol I posted on the wrong book