The Temporary Detective

Chapter Forty-Two

James was nervous. He couldn't remember ever going on a first date without the safety net of alcohol. He knew this little outing to Xavier's was going to test him in every way, and he hardly felt up to the challenge. Cranberry and seltzer. That was Bill's recommendation. It looked like a mixed drink and was less likely to provoke comment than, say, a Coke, which, James had to admit, was threatening to replace alcohol as his addiction. On the other hand, he could just come clean and admit his weakness. Why not? He'd admitted it to Isobel and survived. But he was still afraid that an admission like that might start an avalanche. He was full of weaknesses. He was even too weak to talk Felice out of Xavier's.

Out of the frying pan and into a bigger fucking frying pan, he thought. Why do I always wind up with these Mack truck women?

If he wasn't going to drink, he at least had to look like he would beat the crap out of anyone who messed with him. Black silk shirt, thin maroon tie, the silver and garnet cufflinks Jayla had given him for his birthday. He stepped back and checked himself out in the mirror. Not bad. In the bathroom, he splashed cologne on his neck and pushed a small gold hoop through the hole in his ear. Then he sat down on the couch and took out his phone.

"Bill? It's James. I'm checking in."

"Hey, buddy. How did it go at the meeting today?"

"Something came up and I couldn't get there. I'll talk on Sunday at home group."

"Good. You doing okay?"

James flexed his fingers and looked at his gold Columbia ring, which he had also added for the occasion. "Yeah. No. Here's the deal. I've gotten into a situation. I'm going to this club tonight, Xavier's. You know it?"

"I've never been a clubbing kind of guy. Always sounded like fun, though," Bill said wistfully.

"It's some hot new joint. It's a first date, and I'm worried about the scene. I mean, everyone will be drinking."

"Everyone but you," Bill said firmly.

"I need some help here."

"Eat before you go, so if you do slip, you're slipping on a full stomach."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm just being practical. Look, it would be easier if you didn't go, or at least not yet. But let's face it, it's hard to avoid social alcohol completely. And if you can make it through tonight, that'll be a big achievement."

"Give me some things to think. Things to say."

"What can you control?"

"What I drink."

"So what are you going to drink?"

"Cranberry and seltzer."

"And when she says, 'Aw, come on, have something stronger. I don't want to drink alone,' you're going to say..."

James rubbed his forehead wearily. "Here's where it falls apart for me."

"James. You're not a sissy if you don't drink."

"In my world you are. And this chick likes to drink."

"Too much?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"There you go! Couldn't be better. Tell her the truth. Maybe she needs to hear it. Maybe she needs AA. You're Daniel in the lion's den, and you've got a lioness to convert, and you can't do that drunk."

Besides, if I get drunk, that will mean I can't do it without Jayla, James reminded himself. Maybe, in the end, that was the only encouragement he needed.

"Yeah, all right. What are you doing tonight?"

"Going to bed early. I've got the kids tomorrow, and I want to make every minute count."

"Okay. Take it easy, man. And thanks."

"You too. Good luck. You can do it."

I can do it, James repeated silently, as he hung up the phone.

He put on his coat and picked up his umbrella.

"I can do it," he said aloud. Then he shut the door behind him and raced down the stairs, out into the night and toward temptation.