Can't Give You Up

Chapter 4: Can't Go On Like This

Izzy arrived back at the apartment that he shared with, Axl, Slash, and Steven. He couldn't go to sleep just yet, he felt the need to shoot up, he stopped before he put the needle in his veins. He thought of Kayla, and how disappointed she would be, he knew he had to stop. But he couldn't, he threw the needle and heroin across the room. He cried into his pillow until he fell asleep, Izzy knew he wasn't the best guy in the world to be with. But he really loved her, and cared about her, even though they only met that day. She still ran through his mind, even in his sleep.

"Fantastic!" Axl saw that Izzy was fast asleep, great just great. Axl was so excited to talk to Izzy about Angel, but of course he had to go to sleep. He didn't want to wake him though, he seemed too relaxed and peaceful. Axl knew Izzy was depressed, he tried to get in his head to find out why, but Izzy never let him in. Axl went to the tiny kitchen that they had and got a beer from the fridge, he made his way to his room, which he shared with Izzy, he sat on the little cot that was made up under the windowsill. Axl liked to look outside, especially when it was raining. He looked over by Izzy's little place that he set up on the opposite side of the room, he noticed that there was a needle and heroin thrown across the bedroom. It was strange because Izzy never threw away his drugs...EVER, maybe Izzy was changing. He had to be, otherwise why would he throw away his only lifeline. Axl wanted to help his friend get out of this fog, but if Izzy wasn't willing to help himself, then Axl couldn't do anything to help him. Eventually Axl dozed off, while he heard the sound of rain on his windowsill.

Steven and Slash decided to stay at the bar, they were trying to not go home until the very last minute. Slash wasn't really into the whole club scene, but Steven persuaded him to stay. While Steven was drinking and hitting on Michelle A LOT, Slash decided to walk over to this girl. She was hanging out with her friends in the corner of the bar, she was very pretty. He walked over with confidence and manliness, when she turned her head and looked at him. He suddenly got weak kneed, this never happened to him before. He's always made girls do that, he couldn't find the words to speak to her.

Slash: "Uh..."
Girl: "Uh, hello"
Slash: "Hi, um my name is Slash"
Girl: "Slash?, huh that's a really unique name, my name's Adi"
Slash: "Uh, yeah it's not my actual name, but that's what people call me"
Adi: "Oh, well what's your actual name then?"
Slash: "Alright, it's Saul"
Adi: "Well, that's a special name"
Slash: "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"
Adi: "Good thing, weren't you the one playing the guitar?"
Slash: "Yeah, I was"
Adi: "You're really good, better than most guitarists out there, and your band mates are really good too"
Slash: "Thanks, I love playing guitar, it's like a release for me"
Adi: "You are very good at what you do"
Slash: "You think so huh?, well if you're not doing anything special tomorrow night, I was wondering if you'd like to watch us play?, afterwards we could go out on a date"
Adi: "Oh, that would be awesome!, I'd love to!"
Slash: "Alright, so it's a date then, I'll come by your house around 8"
Adi: "Sounds good, I'll see you then"

Slash left the bar with Steven and Michelle in tow, he was so happy and excited, and maybe a little nervous. He couldn't believe she said yes to him, every girl he met he just wanted to get in their pants. But this girl was different, this girl was special in away, she had a different aura about her.

When Steven and Slash arrived home, the whole house was quiet, that either means Axl and Izzy weren't home yet. Or they were passed out doing drugs, Slash went to their room and saw them both fast asleep. Strange, usually Axl's up, maybe he's just too exhausted. Slash looked around the room and his eyes focused on Izzy's unused needle and heroin in the corner. Izzy wasn't doing heroin, this didn't make any sense, why would Izzy just up and quit. This was getting a little too weird, he would have to talk to Izzy in the morning, but right now it was time to do a little drinking and a little drugging before he went to bed. He liked drinking better than doing drugs, but drugs usually helped him cope with everything. Some days he didn't do drugs at all, just drank a lot. He went to his room, Steven was already passed out on his cot, Slash couldn't stand the way Steven snored and slept, but he was his brother, he put up with it as best as he could. Slash grabbed the bottle of whiskey that he kept under his pillow, it was warm but who cares?. He laid there looking up at the ceiling, hoping Guns N' Roses will become a huge hit. He thought about it until his eyes slowly started to close.

Duff woke up in the morning to the sound of his alarm, and on the floor. Of course he ended up in the floor, why wouldn't he?. He smelled something good, like eggs and bacon, he walked to the kitchen and saw his sister making breakfast.

Duff: "Lorena seriously?, you didn't have to do this"
Lorena: "What kind of sister would I be if I let my brother starve?"
Duff: "But you're a guest in my home"
Lorena: "True, but I am your sister, so whatever"
Duff: "Fine, but I get the most!"
Lorena: "You always do!, because you're fat!"
Duff: "I am not fat!, I'm just big boned! Haha!"
Lorena: "Duff you're so stupid"
Duff: "Why?, because I insult myself?"
Lorena: "No, because you're just not smart"
Duff: "How are we related?"
Lorena: "I don't know, I thought it always was a mixup at the hospital"
Duff: "Hardy har har, very funny, so what do you want to do today"
Lorena: "Well, we could go to the movie, or we could go bowling, whatever you feel like doing"
Duff: "Ok, I haven't been bowling in so long"
Lorena: "Me either, the last time I bowled was with you at my sixteenth birthday party"
Duff: "Yeah, sounds about right"
Lorena: "You know, that I saw you last night with that bottle of Jack"
Duff: "Uh, yeah I only had half the bottle, I fell asleep after that"
Lorena: "Whatever Duff"

Ok now Duff was starting to feel like a piece of shit, this wasn't good. Why does this have to happen to him?, he was a good person, he never hurt anybody, why did he have to feel this way?. He wasn't doing anything wrong, it's not like nobody else drank around him. What about those people?, this was getting too complicated, he went to his room and laid down on his bed. He started thinking about this girl he saw, she was very beautiful, he saw her at the troubadour, she was sitting all by herself. Which made him more interested in her, he couldn't wait to see her tonight, hopefully.
He thought that this would be the best night that the band ever had.

Izzy woke up at 9, he's never slept that good in his life. Axl was watching TV as he usually did, Steven was snoring, Slash was eating. It seemed pretty normal to him, he sat next to Axl, feeling a little crappy. Axl seemed to notice this, he gave Izzy that look of "There's something on your face look".

Izzy: "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Axl: "Because, there's something going on with you"
Izzy: "Axl, there's nothing going on with me, I'm fine"
Axl: "OK, Izz we've been friends for a very long time, and I know there's something wrong"
Izzy: "OK, fine I'm just not into all of this crap anymore, you know drugs and partying"
Axl: "Oh, whew I thought you were quitting the band"
Izzy: "Why would I do that?"
Axl: "I don't know, why would you?"
Izzy: "Well, just forget it, it's nothing for you to worry about anyway"
Axl: "Hey, I'm your friend I'll always worry about you, but don't be afraid to tell me what you're feeling"
Izzy: "Yeah, I'll try to keep you updated"
Axl: "Don't be a smartass"
Izzy: "I can't help it, when you're giving me so much emotional support"
Axl: "Oh hahaha, I hate you sometimes"
Izzy: "Well, you're still my friend,  and you know what, I hate you sometimes too"
Axl: "At least we have that in common"
Izzy: "I'm gonna wash up real quick...Tell Slash not to eat all the food that we have"
Slash: *From the kitchen* Hey!, I heard that!
Axl: "Haha!, Good!!!"

Izzy couldn't care less about what happened in his past, the past should be left in the past. Today was a new day and he was going to embrace it, he use to worry about when he was going to get his next fix. But now he just worried about keeping his girlfriend, his friends, and his sanity.