Everything Is Ephemeral - phan

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Dan Howell wants to die.

He knows it, and thanks to Lucas, practically everyone knows it as well. Lucas hates Dan, but Dan hates himself more.

Everyone at school hates Dan as well. They call him names in the hall. Dan's family doesn't know; they all have enough issues of their own.

There's only one thing that makes Dan rethink his desire to die. Philip Michael Lester. The tall boy with sparkling blue eyes, milky skin, dark hair and a sweet smile. The thing is, Phil is Lucas' best friend, and Lucas, as mentioned before, hates Dan. And lets everyone know it too.

Dan Howell used to be best friends with Phil Lester, but then Lucas came along. The day Lucas insulted Dan, slapped him and tripped him over while Phil just watched and laughed was the last day Dan ever spoke to Phil.

Yet Dan still can see the old Phil when he looks at him - he sees the childish, funny, innocent, sweet person Phil really is, but tries to hide - but Phil puts on a mask for school, and who Phil pretends to be is not someone Dan likes.

Dan hates everything, he hates Phil, he hates school, he hates emotions, he hates people, he hates himself.

Dan just wants to die.