How I Learned to Live Again

Chapter 15

I wake up with bandaged legs and fresh sheets.I open my eyes groggily and look around. Aron is sitting by my bedside, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Hi," I say quietly. I can tell he's nervous. That he doesn't know what happened last night.

"Hi," he responds. He looks down. "Look, Jessa..." he shakes his head. "I need to know what happened last night. All I know is that when the night nurse came to check in on you you were passed out and bleeding."
I don't even remember what happened last night. I shake my head and change the subject.

"Uh...what time is Ashley coming today?"

Aron gives me a look and responds, "In about an hour, actually. Wanna start getting ready?" Aron lifts me out of bed and into my wheelchair, which is right next to my bed. He helps me get dressed, and when I'm done with that he brings me into the bathroom.
One of the few things I'm still able to do independently is my makeup. I still have some trouble moving my fingers, though, so I use these things that you strap around your hand to hold the brushes. It's not as precise as it used to be, but I'm just thankful that I can do it at all. This takes about 15 minutes, and by the time I come out of the bathroom it's almost time to meet Ashley. When I come out, Aron is sitting on my bed.

"So, this Ashley girl, who is she?" He asks.

"She used to be my best friend," I reply. "The accident gave her a pretty severe brain injury. Her mom thinks if she sees me again it might help her." I pause. "I don't really know what to expect, though. Like, I don't really know the extent of her injuries."

Aron nods pensively. "Look, Jessa, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." He kneels by my chair and takes my hand.

"Um. Okay, what is it?" I'm nervous for what he's going to say.

"Uh..." He says it as if what he's about to say is awful. "Well, next week, um..."

"What?"

"You can move in with me." A huge smile breaks over his face, and he squeezes my hand.

"Oh my God, Aron, that's great!" I laugh and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and kisses me gently on the forehead. After a few minutes of just sitting like this, he shifts.

"I think we should get going. Ashley should be here any minute."

"Okay." I reach for the control pad on the arm of my wheelchair and push the acceleration. The thing with the wheelchair is since I don't have a lot of dexterity in my fingers yet, sometimes it's easier for Aron to just push me. But I'm having a good day, and I move the wheelchair all the way down to the lobby. When I get there, I see Ashley's mom and go over to her.

"Hey!" She greets me warmly. "It's so good to see you again! You look great!" I laugh and give her a hug.

"Is Ashley here?" Mrs. Henderson nods. "She's in the car. She should be in soon."

"Okay, great," I respond. "How is she?"

"Well, physically, she's okay. She just won't walk by herself. Like, she is able to, but something in her mind is telling her she shouldn't. And her speech is improving a little, but she's hard to understand. She's having a lot of trouble saying the words she wants to say. It's like there's a block."

I must look confused, because she clarifies, "Like, she'll look at a tree and know what it is, but she'll call it something else. She really lost the meaning of words in the accident."

"That sounds really hard. I'm sorry," I say sympathetically.

Mrs. Henderson gives me a wan smile. "You know, she's improving a little every day. All we can do is bring her to the best doctors and therapists and hope they can help her." Then she smiles and says, "But how are you? How are things going for you?"

"Well, as you can probably see I've regained some movement in my arms. My torso and legs are still not moving at all, but I'm doing a lot of physical therapy, and I'm able to eat and do some other stuff on my own now."

"That's really great, sweetie. Oh! Here she comes."

I look to the door and see Ashley being wheeled in. She looks much more alert than the last time I saw her. More herself. A nurse wheels her over to me. I smile at her.

"Ashley, do you remember your friend Jessa?" Mrs. Henderson asks gently. "She wants to say hi to you, sweetie."

"Hi Ashley," I say clearly. "I'm Jessa. Do you remember me?"

Ashley looks vacant for a second, and then nods, saying something unintelligible.

"Sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you," I tell her.

"I rember you," she repeats slowly in a high voice. "You are my friend."

I smile widely. "Yeah! It's nice to see you again, Ashley."

Suddenly, she looks stressed. She points at her mom.

"What is it, honey?"

"Why is she sitting on a slide?" She asks.

Mrs. Henderson furrows her brow. "What do you mean a slide?"

I laugh nervously. "Do you mean the wheelchair?" She nods. "Well, it's because..." I try to think of a way to put it without confusing Ashley. "My legs don't work. I use it to help myself move." She nods, looking confused.

"Why don't they work?" She asks inquisitively.

"Um. I got in a car accident." I look at Mrs. Henderson worriedly. She leans over to me and whispers, "She doesn't know. The memory is just gone." I guess I need to be careful. Mrs. Henderson doesn't need to worry about Ashley getting worked up about that, too.

"When?" Ashley interrupts.

"It was a few months ago," I say, ready to change the subject. "How are you doing?"

Ashley looks worried at the question.

"Is everything okay?"

Before I can say anything else, Ashley's face crumples and she puts her face in her hands. Mrs. Henderson rushes over and grabs her hand, whispering comfort to her. She makes eye contact with me and says quietly, "We don't know why this happens. Sometimes she just becomes completely inconsolable and there's nothing I can do about it besides sedating her, which I hate."

"That's awful. I'm so sorry."

She shakes her head. "It's not your fault. As soon as anything changes, I'll let you know."

"Okay. Please do."

"We should go - this usually goes on for some time. It was really nice to see you, Ashley." Mrs. Henderson takes my hand. "I love to see you doing so well." I smile back at her warm face. I wish my mother was this supportive.

"I'll see you later, Mrs. Henderson. Bye Ashley, feel better." I wave to both of them as I turn my chair around and start to head back to my room.
I feel like there's something I should have done. I guess I'm lucky that nothing happened to my brain during the accident. At least I can still talk and have unimpaired mental function. Even if I can't walk, at least I have that.