Give Your Heart A Break

Chapter Eight

I got back to my dorm after spending the day with Harry and laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling trying to sort out my thoughts. Today was a good day, despite my raging hangover. My necklace was once again fixed and hung around me neck thanks to Harry. He was a good distraction, he made me forget about everything for a moment and I just felt like an average 19 year old girl again with no worries. Which scared me because I'm not just some 19 year old girl with no worries. I have permanent scars on my heart that I can feel everyday. Why is it that Harry, some famous boybander, can make those scars temporally go away? He opened me up, which made it a lot easier for him to hurt me. I can't let that happen. I cannot handle being hurt again.

I decided a shower would help me rid myself of thoughts and walked over to the bathroom closing the door before stripping off my jeans and t-shirt. I entered the shower putting the hot water on full blast which sent goosebumps down my back. I decided that I would stay in tonight and do absolutely nothing. I washed my long hair watching the water soak into my hair creating my hair curl at the ends naturally. Once I finished I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body before stepping out of the shower. The cool air refreshed my hot skin and I finally felt relaxed. I grabbed another towel to wipe the steam off the mirror and caught my reflection. I stood there and pointed out each flaw. My eyes dull from both the sadness and my hangover taking over my whole body. My tanned skin growing paler each day making my dark circles under my eyes show up. My lips were chapped from this London weather and my collar bones stuck out a little too prominently showing off the weight I have lost since Melissa left. I let out a huge sigh and forced my eyes away from my awful reflection. I brushed my hair and ridded it of knots and let it hang damp down my back, before heading back into the dorm. Straight away I caught sight of someone sitting on my bed. He sat there with a maroon beaning on top of his head and a few of his chocolate curls escaping from the side. He wore a plain white tee with black jeans and white converse. How the hell did he get into my dorm, how did he even know this was my dorm?! Why is he here? Anger over took me at his lack of respect for my privacy. I slammed the bathroom door which made his head jerk up.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here Harry? Do you have NO respect for people's privacy?" I hissed through my teeth. Just when I thought he was okay he pushed too far into my bubble again. A look of hurt washed through his green eyes. For a moment I felt guilty and wanted to apologise for my outburst. But I didn't. He needed to know that this wasn't okay, and I had made a promise to myself in the shower that I would push him away from me from now on before he hurt me.

 He looked down at the phone in his hand and answered with his head down, "I-I umm you left your ph-phone at mine. I just came to to drop it off." He stuttered offering me my phone. I snatched it out of his hands and he dropped his head a little further.

"I..I should go. Sorry Pay." he said as he got himself up from my bed and started to walk to the door. I grabbed his arm before he reached it though. I didn't understand my actions. It was almost like I didn't want him to be sad because of me and I didn't want him to go. He swivelled around and looked at me with hope in his eyes. I quickly recovered myself and dropped my voice low.

"Don't ever come by room again, and don't EVER call me Pay." I hissed.

He dropped his head and just nodded before opening the door and exiting my room. I watched him walk down the hallway before he stopped and turned around and gave me a small sad smile before I closed the door on him.

I will admit. I felt terrible. i changed into my Pjs and curled up under the covers trying to erase the images of hurt in his eyes. I decided to go to sleep so I wouldn't have to think about him all night.