Random Short Stories of EmeraldSilver

A Laugh a Day Keeps the Horror Away

"Eww"
"Why'd she look at me?"
"Who the heck is her?"
"Eww, it's kristenitis! Such a horrible disease! Worse than ebola!"
Is that really the best insults you can give me?
"Somebody call for the elephant subduer, cause we got a beast!"
I walk as I look down at my thighs, and how they wobble.
"Ugh, I hate when she looks at me! It's like she's burning my insides into mush!"
"Yeah, why doesn't she just go die!"
They all laugh. I'm the only one who isn't.
Walking off the bus, I look up as it drives away. And as usual, the kids in the back laugh and point me all over.
We got a beast!
I'm not a beast, and I never will be. I'm just as human as the next. Walking slowly to my house, I fix my shirt and stare down at my feet. You can't even see your own feet now, what a shame. Why are you even alive Kris. You don't deserve it. Walking inside the big house in front of me, the first thing I do is pick up my book. How To Cope With Depression. Just looking at the title makes me even more depressed. For once, I decide to ditch the book and instead go to google to do some "research".
Bullying
Bullies
How to know if you're being bullied
Depression
How bullying affects depression
How to stop being bullied
Counseling
Therapy
Mental disorder therapy
Mental disorder school
Why people get depressed
Cutting
Suicide
I decide to stop before I just kill myself right there. It's not worth it to live anymore. Too many people calling me names. Too many people not giving a crap about me. To many people ignoring. Too little people standing up.
Suicide.
I think clear.
Suicide.
I could never do that to myself, could I? All my best friends would be ashamed, and worst of all, I'd never find love. It's not like I will but... nevermind...
Getting dragged back down that hole of depression, I walk towards the bathroom.
Why doesn't she just kill herself!?
Reaching in the drawer, I pull out my sacred blades, and place them on my soft skin. Tears streaming down my eyes, I laugh mad, and pull it right across, creating deep cuts, continuing up my arms, I feel a sense of relief wash over.
The pain feels good, so, so good. It feels like nobody can ever hurt me again. Nobody ever will. Surely, I can lose weight by losing blood. So efficient, so... amazing.
After pulling across many, many more times, I get tired from blood loss, and sadly put my sharp friends away.
.
.
.
Suicide.
|♢|
Sitting on the bus, there they go again.
"You know that girl sitting right there?"
"Yeah, that's kristie, a fat ass bitch who can't go on a diet."
Little do they know I only eat two times a day, and starve myself on weekends.
"Yeah, I'm glad I'm not in her grade. She's probably bigger than my mom!"
"And every other mom in the world."
I am already tearing up, and decide to read a book to stop my feelings.
"She's bigger than a fucking whale!"
"Yeah, and she's a real nerd too. Probably doesn't even know we're talking about her!"
"That girl probably doesn't even know that Alaska is a continent!"
that's it.
"Alaska isn't a continent," I speak up. They are all surprised that I'm even talking. "Alaska is a state in the United States, idiot." I then go back to reading my book. I can't just let them become even bigger morons.
"Oh wow, she actually spoke." The first one said, laughing.
"Yeah, I thought she was so fat, her vocal chords are smashed by the blubber!" They all break into hysterical laughing.
But once again, I'm the only one that isn't.
|♢|
Finally after the day of school is done, I head out to my bus.
"Look, it's the humpback whale in their natural habitat." The same group from earlier says. Waiting quietly on the vehicle, trying not to murder them, my stop finally comes. But little did I know that those kids from earlier got off too.
"Why did you get off the bus?" I say, looking straight at them.
"Oh look, the pile of jello is talking again." They all laugh, but then one comes closer to me.
"I'm surprised you didn't die yet, because of diabetes or something else. Something fun. Like suicide." She says, but I ignore her and keep walking.
"Yeah!" They all chime in. Then, my ears start ringing, and I realize something.
Suicide.
This is all in my hands. I can do what I want.
Suicide.
I could bring out my pocket knife and stab them all right now!
Suicide.
I could push them all in front of a train!
Suicide.
I have control of all of this! I don't need to live anymore!
Suicide.
Or...
Suicide.
I could just sit back and...
Suicide.
Kill myself instead...
Suicide.
I decide to give up. Give up on everything I loved. Everyone I loved. They can all live without me. All of them.
Slowly walking I go To the sidewalk
"What the fuck is she doing?"
And
Then
"I think she's gonna do it!"
I just take
Another step
"Yeah! And we're all here to witness it!"
And another
"Guys, this isn't right."
And another
"Yeah, she might actually do it!"
It won't hurt me
It'll be quick and painless.
"Guys! She's just tricking us!"
They don't get it...
Do they.
"Yeah, that bitch!"
I'm going to die
And I'm glad of it
"Burn in hell Kristen!"
I just take another step
And I'm in the street
I see a truck and smile
They all laugh
The truck comes closer
they still laugh
They ponder when I'm going to stop joking
But I'm not joking
The truck comes closer.
In five seconds, I'll be mush.
They all laugh.
And laugh
And laugh
And for once,
I laugh too.