Her Calling

The Intrusion

All these days, to Paritosh, Rupali was a rich, fanciful, young girl, not a brat that he had initially assumed, but still someone belonging to the different world. When the money had started pouring in even after he had met his annual target and left Mumbai, and he had realized that it was because of her efforts, he had been intrigued about her motives at first, but had finally dismissed them as some puerile battle of one-upmanship she was fighting with her uncle.

But his view of her was changing yet again. Just like she had surprised him with her dedication and hardwork in the classes and project, she surpassed all his expectations in adjusting to her sparse living arrangements and working with children.

"We share the photos of smiling, bright-looking children in our brochures, and boast endlessly about an occasional gifted child. But the reality on the ground is very different. Most children are not bright, they don't have good role-models or encouragement at home. You have to slog with them to get even the simplest concepts across to them," he had explained to her in the beginning, "They would stop coming to school on pretty much any pretext. Their cattle ran away, mother fell ill, father was drunk and sick. With girls it is worse. If there are younger siblings at home, she is as good as a full-time mother to them."

She had listened attentively. And she had understood, as her patient work later testified. No work was beneath her. She didn't mind even sweeping the school compound when need be. Initially that had made Paritosh uncomfortable. "I will do. I am used to it," he would try to snatch the broom away from her. "I will get used to it," she would respond and go on sweeping.

It hadn't taken long for her to become the de-facto in-charge of all the local and administrative activities. The staff and volunteers started looking towards her for guidance and accepted her leadership. That was a big help for Paritosh, because he could travel more often to their other centers. The children coming to the center and the villagers also seemed fond of her. It was impossible to locate the spoiled, tipsy, brazen girl he used to meet at her uncle's house in this simple, polite, patient young woman.

The one thing she couldn't do herself was cooking. So, they found a woman to cook for her. With the alibi of a cook at her disposal, she set out to supply for the deficiencies in Paritosh' meals. He cooked himself, barely ever eating a proper meal. Sometimes he would cook rice with some salt and potatoes, at other times it was just a packet of Maggi. At first it was a discreet intrusion. She would bring a boiled egg for him at the breakfast time, a sabzi during lunch and a crisp parantha or two during dinner. "This woman cooks extravagantly," she would say by way of explanation. Then one day, during their morning jog, a habit they had discovered they shared to their mutual secret delight, she declared an open war on his lifestyle. "Why do you need to cook that meagerly meal for yourself? Shanti cooks enough to feed a large family. You will eat with me from now on."

His protest had been feeble and ineffective. Deep down, he knew he didn't want to fight her.

"You jog to keep yourself healthy. But if you continue to eat like that, all the exercise in the world would not save your health," she had added for good measure, although he had already caved in.

She would make a weekly trip to Ranikhet to keep their kitchen well-stocked. Once she came back with a new pair of running shoes for him.

"Can you try them on? I told the shopkeeper that he will have to accept return for size, if needed."

"I don't need these."

"Of course, you need these. Your toes are threatening to start peeping out of your old shoes. You can't continue your morning exercise in them. Not in this harsh climate with winter approaching..."

"Stop fretting over your first world problems, Rupali," Paritosh interjected sharply, "If the weather becomes too bad, I won't jog for a month. As simple as that. I accepted what you did about food. But I am not going to start living outside my means. Stop trying to change me."

In an earlier time, this would have been the point at which she would have run away. But she was more comfortable with him now. Although subdued by his outburst, she was not yet defeated.

"It is well within your means. You are entitled to a salary from the NGO's budget. You don't draw it."

"I am not building a career here, Rupali. This is how I think about it - even with the generous donations, the amount of money is finite. The number of needy people has no end. The money that will be spent on my shoes can buy a full set of books for a school-going child. What do you expect me to choose?"

"You denying yourself basic necessities is not going to solve the world hunger problem. Why have you gone to such lengths to be poor? Fine, you don't want to take anything from NGO's fund. But you can go to the university more often, can't you? If the organization can function for one semester without you, it can function for two as well."

"And before I know it, I would be back in that world. Earn some, earn more, stow away some, stow away some more... Despite how poor my life may appear to you, Rupali, the people I am working for are living worse ones. If I go off on the quest of bettering my life, I would stop understanding them, I would..."

"That's an absurd reasoning. Just because you are a bit comfortable, it doesn't mean you stop understanding people's problems. I haven't become an ascetic like you. But I understand these children and their problems..."

"Yeah?" he grew caustic, "You understand their problems? And how exactly, Rupali, when you have never faced a real, genuine problem all your life?"

"Real, genuine problem? I am an orphan, Prof. Khanna!"

"Orphan? An orphan with more money coming from her trust fund that this entire village spends. An orphan adopted by a loving, childless uncle, making her the heir of both brothers' wealth..." He stopped short when he noticed her quivering in anger. Her lips were pressed together and her fingers were curled in a tight fist. She was expending all her willpower to stop herself from punching him.

Things he had said had nothing to do with the original argument they were having. And even if everything else he had said was true, mocking someone's parents' death was crude, insensitive and brutal. What had come upon him? As the realization of what had happened dawned on him, his face lost all its color. "Rupali... I... I am so sorry..."

She bolted away from there, and this time he didn't care about creating a scene. He ran right after her, grabbed her by arms and turned her around.

"Listen to me. I have said something horrible, inexcusable... I can't imagine how badly I hurt you. Punish me, Rupali. Punish me in whatever ways you want. But don't... don't go away like this..."

"Why do you hate me so, Prof. Khanna?"

"Hate you? I don't hate you, Rupali. I... Well. No wonder you feel that after what I did. But I was... I was only scared. I was scared of your power over me."

"My power?" Words barely escaped her knotted throats.

"You are a strange woman, Rupali. Every time I try to dismiss you, you surprise me with your humility, dedication and sheer perseverance. Even after you had promised to stay, I hadn't expected you will survive here. But not only you stayed, you have won everyone's heart. Staff, children, villagers..."

"Everyone's?"

"Rupali..."

"Let me go, Prof. Khanna."

"Rupali. I really shouldn't have made light of your parents' death. Is there nothing I can do to earn your forgiveness?"

"You have my forgiveness. And you have my envy. If you think that once people have money, the world will be a better place, you have something you can work towards. I don't have any such delusions. I kept wondering what it would take for the world to become a better place. No answer came to me. So, I just settled on following you."

He let go of her hands. "There must be a right thing for me to say now, Rupali. But I don't trust myself to figure that out right now. I will talk to you later."

"Dinner will be ready by half past eight," she reminded him and left.