Title:Shanghai Life .
Author: NathanHarrison28
Genre: Teen Fiction
Chapter Count: 2.
Blurb: Living in the Chinese metropolis of Shanghai is Max, a teenager not driven by love, but by drugs and narcotics. He has no emotional connections with anyone; he is alone. However, one can only go so far before being addicted. Will Max's connections with narcotics industry run too deep? How far can Max go before his life is consumed within the streets of Shanghai?
As the title hints, the story takes place in Shanghai as we pursue Max in his life. The writer did a great job in describing the city and the struggles that comes with living in it, especially for someone who and I quote,"Left the UK at the tender age of 18, with nothing but the clothes on his back, his qualifications and an acceptance letter to the the pharmaceutical institute of Shanghai."
The writer successfully captured the emotions of his character and the development he went through, emphasizing that life isn't easy and to what extant it can damage a person. The first chapter frames Max in two tenses: Is and Was. From that perspective, the character development was the best thing about this story; the impact of a city like Shanghai on a person like Max.
The details given in the chapters are enough to paint a vivid image in the reader's mind but the style of writing is a bit detaching. The most disappointing flaw in the story is how the flow isn't it's strongest points. The thoughts are repeated sometimes more than twice, there is more telling than showing, and the paragraphs needs to be cut down so it doesn't turn off the readers. Although the style of writing is straight forward, it's not smooth and some sentences are better phrased differently. To capture the emotions in their most raw form, metaphors are your weapon. It saves the chapter from being dull and eliminates any chance of unneeded repetition.
I would recommend an editor or heavy proof-reading since there are a lot of punctuation mistakes and grammar errors that consists but not limited to capitalization. Some words starts with capital letters while they shouldn't since the capital letters rule doesn't apply on them. Dialogue should stand as an independent paragraph which will also benefit your problem with paragraphs length.
The characters are three dimensional and I salute the writer for that. Max is heavy with a past that still hunts him and a future he doesn't know where it'll end. The impact of the city on his mentality and mindset is, although pity-worthy, is refreshing. The writer chose the right backstory, setting, city, and circumstances to shape out his main character. Don, as a second character, still contributes in the development of the plot and his personality feels real. I can't help but mention again how accurate your description of how treacherous a city can be.
Verdict: Despite the story being in Teen-Fiction category, it has elements of action and deals with important topics. If you are a fan of characters gone-bad and teen-fiction stories, you'll enjoy this read.
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